Sleep
I wrote this post a week ago. My surgery was scheduled for May 3rd so if your reading this then I’m supposed to be at the hospital recovering from surgery inshallah.
I haven’t been sleeping very well lately. I used to think that it was part of being a mother and having young children. Which is part of it. But, lately I’ve been sleeping less and the quality has been getting worse. I’ve been waking up sitting upright gasping for air, the way they do in movies after a bad dream. I didn’t think much of it until I went to see an ENT doctor because I felt as if there was something stuck in my throat. She suggested I do a sleep test. She didn’t tell me the thing I felt in my throat were my tonsils! When I didn’t see results with her theory (acid reflux) I went to see a second doctor, he told me my tonsils were very big and that is what I was feeling in my throat! I could also feel them when I breathed through my nose. After my sleep test, they confirmed that I have obstructive sleep apnea and recommended I remove my tonsils. They referred me to a surgeon who specializes in sleep apnea surgery. He started by telling me surgery wasn’t the first solution, until he saw my tonsils! He recommended the CPAP machine, it blows air into your nose to help you breathe while sleeping. He said it it helped me sleep better than the surgery would be the solution. I had tried it during the sleep test and as annoying as it is at first, it helped me sleep so much better! I brought the machine home and I’m still learning to sleep through the night with it. It feels a little claustrophobic, if you know what I mean. The air pressure feels as if you can’t breathe. I’m still adjusting. In the meantime, my sleep seems to be getting worse and I’m walking around sleepy all day. I even dozed off on the sofa early in the evening. I want to do the surgery but my kitchen is being installed this past week finally after 8 months of waiting and I want to organize my kitchen before the surgery. Especially since every single doctor I’ve spoken to has emphasized how painful the surgery is. I’ve accepted that the surgery is necessary and it will be (inshallah) the key to me sleeping well. I’ve realized that this is the reason I need to go back to bed most days after the kids go to school. It’s the reason I am sleepy most days if I don’t get my morning nap and I end up dozing off throughout the day. Like the other day, I was revising with my 5th grader for his social studies midterm exam and I started dozing off and saying nonsense. Then, I gave in and asked him to get ready for soccer practice. I told him I’d revise when he came back, it was still early. I hate that overwhelming feeling of sleepiness. Then, as usual, I was unable to sleep, I may have dozed off a bit. Unfortunately, the CPAP machine isn’t helping. I went to see a specialist who programs them and he programmed it so it starts with a weak air flow and after thirty minutes gets stronger if I need it (which I do) when the air flow gets stronger it wakes me up and I’m unable to go back to sleep. Hopefully the surgery will be the cure and I will no longer need this machine. Until then I will do my best to sleep.
Something I discovered when I first went to see the sleep doctor, was that sometimes sleep apnea can cause irregular heartbeats! Can you imagine after months of doctors’ appointments, MRI’s, blood tests and anything and everything you can imagine this might be the cause! I hope so, hopefully it will go away and I will be able to do without the medicine. It will be nice to workout at the gym without being afraid that I might get dizzy. The human body is such an interesting thing. I think its fascinating how everything is connected and any imbalance can affect everything!
Last Friday, I went to see the surgeon and schedule the surgery. I’m a planner, I like to plan things. It helps me deal with the stress. He remembered me as soon as I walked in; you’re the one with the very big tonsils! Apparently, they are memorable, haha. He checked them again just because I asked and confirmed they were just as big as the last appointment. I told him between midterms and finals I needed to schedule the surgery. So, we scheduled it for next Friday inshallah. My kids will have finished midterms and I’ll have time to heal before finals. I have some social obligations coming up, they are important to me and hopefully the pain will be manageable but I didn’t want to postpone it any longer. I’m really optimistic that this surgery will make a difference.
As the day comes closer, I’m trying my best to prepare for the post operation recovery. I’m trying not to let laundry to pile up, I’ve written an in-detail grocery list and I’ll do the grocery shopping next week. I’ve written a list for this weekend to cook some chicken beasts, mixed lamb, prepare some chicken for oven roasting… things that I can freeze and will make cooking easier. I know I probably won’t be up to cooking the first week, I will pace myself and see.
There was a slight change in my kitchen design (which I’m so excited to share my before and after photos soon inshallah!) So, they haven’t finished yet. After I explained that I had surgery scheduled in a week, they promised to hurry and told me I could start putting things in the cupboards. Which as excited I was to do, isn’t as easy as it sounds. I’ve completely changed the layout and now I’m trying to decide where I want everything. I’m sure I will rearrange things time and again until I like it best. I’m looking forward to the process of loving my kitchen again. Maybe with my new kitchen and better sleep I’ll be inspired to bake more and overcome the baking block.