Letting Them Grow

I’d like to apologize for not posting details about the Among Us Party. I will post it next week inshallah.

Photo by Jannis Lucas on Unsplash

My oldest is fifteen. He may be taller than me (mashallah), but he’s always going to be my little boy. Last summer we decided to send him to London to take a six-week English course. It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. How do you send your child to a different continent alone? We did a lot of research. We asked lots of questions. After talking to the woman organizing the program multiple times and discussing it with our son we decided to enroll him in this program.

Something my son said to me sums up how much I was worried. I was packing his suitcase with him and he told me not to worry, my response was: I'm not worried! He replied: mom, you gave me two big containers of gum, and I'm only going to be on the airplane twice! Of course, I was worried, he was going to travel by himself for the first time, he was going to a country he had never been to, so the airport would also be new to him. Yes, there would be someone from the college there to pick him up. We asked at the airport here for him to have a guide so he had assistance at both airports. I gave him a crash course on ironing and using a washer. I packed clothes for all sorts of weather, and at the last minute, we gave him a small suitcase so we could give him a heavy jacket, just in case. London was sunny and warm the entire time he was there and he never needed the jacket or the umbrella I packed him. I wrote him a bunch of “open when” cards. He never needed them. Yes, he missed us. But I guess he wasn’t gone long enough to be homesick. He also had a very busy schedule so he didn’t have much time to sit and think about how much he missed us. He did FaceTime us a couple of times and send messages. Technology can be such a blessing when your far from home.

It was a great opportunity for him. He had different roommates. (the courses are different lengths and his first roommate left before him) He learned to deal with different types of people. He made new friends from different parts of the world. (He’s still in touch with some.) He learned a lot and experienced London by himself. Honestly, I am so proud of him! He was praised by all. He was always on time, worked hard, and finished his assignments on time. He learned to do his laundry. He kept his room clean. He was pretty good about spending money. He even bought everyone small gifts. I did constantly worry. I couldn’t help it. I trusted him, I knew he was responsible and mature for his age, but in the end, he was 14, only a child. Even if sometimes he was mistaken to be older.

It was a good learning experience for him and us as parents. we learned to step back and give him space. To put our faith in him and how we raised him. It's not easy stepping back but we have to let them grow.

A week ago we sent him on a school trip to Malaysia. Our experience with London made it easier for him and for us. This time he was going with his teacher and classmates. That also helped. When he was leaving for London he was a little hesitant, when he left for Malaysia he was much more confident. He even told me to go home after we arrived at the airport. He was with his classmates and teacher waiting for the rest of the group, but I needed to wait and see him go inside to his terminal.

He came back a little more confident, with more knowledge and experience.

I think this is what we aim for as parents. We work hard so our kids can get the best education, have the best opportunities and be more successful than us. We want the best for them always.

I know part of me wants to keep all my kids close to me. I want to know they are safe always. I know that’s not realistic. It’s wrong. We need to trust that we have done our best, we have given them all the love, support, and knowledge we can so they can go out into the world and be successful adults. It’s not easy. I know for me, I’ve learned from the oldest that I’m doing ok as a mom.

That doesn’t mean I won’t stop worrying. But maybe I’ll worry less.