Bad Days
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto:
I wrote this back in April when I was going though an especially stressful time. I was hesitant to post, because it’s hard to admit that you felt overwhelmed by day to day life sometimes. I know it’s ok to feel this way. I am only human. I have been feeling so much better. A recent long weekend getaway gave me the boost I needed. I am posting this to remind everyone that its ok to feel this way. We need to take care of ourselves and ask for help sometimes. Give ourselves a break.
Sometimes being a mom is hard because you can’t t have a bad day. You can’t call in sick and stay in bed all day. The thing is, you will have bad days. Despite that, you will still have to do everything as a mom. You will still have little people depending on you to provide breakfast, lunch, dinner and clean underwear. You will still need to do bedtimes and school pickups. You will need to bottle up your feelings because you need to be the same loving mom as usual because your kids don’t need to know your having a bad day. Sometimes its ok to share your feelings with your children but sometimes, if it’s an adult issue, I don’t think you should burden them. They are only kids, they will become adults soon enough. Let them enjoy their childhood.
If you’re lucky you will get a chance to go to the gym and take it out on the machines or do whatever it is that makes you feel better and take out the stress. If you’re really lucky you’ll have someone to listen to you complain about how taken for granted you feel for being a SAHM with no job instead of realizing you have multiple jobs.
Having these thoughts in the middle of the night when you’re supposed to be sleeping but you’re not because you got up to go to the bathroom. Then you had all these intrusive thoughts when all you want to do is sleep and you wish it was the weekend already or even better summer vacation! I think it says a lot when your wishing for summer vacation even though that means a house full of kids everyday all day for two months…
Then, it will hit you; that that’s the reason you’ve been feeling so overwhelmed by life lately. You are burnt out, it’s not one single thing, its an accumulation of so many things. You need a break, but that’s not always possible. As a mom, taking a break is something that requires so much planning and coordinating. You need to discover little things that help relieve the pressure when you’re feeling overwhelmed. You need to learn to delegate, ask for help when life seems like it’s too much. You don’t always have to do everything yourself.
As I write this I’m reminded of my word for 2023: Balance. I know I haven’t reached the Balance I aim for. I’m working on it. I’m learning. I still forget that I can delegate. I still forget that my kids are growing older and can help too sometimes. I still want to do everything myself, because I want things done my way. But, I’m learning. When I’m having a bad day, I try to do the things that I enjoy. Going to the gym is my first choice. Sometimes I go out for a cup of coffee by myself, something I never used to do. Sometimes indulging in a decadent dessert helps. Sometimes, a hug from one of my kids reminds me why I became a SAHM. It reminds me how blessed I am to have them. Its ok to have bad days. We just have to remember they aren’t all bad.