Insomnia

Photo by SHVETS production

I know I’m definitely not the only one who suffers from insomnia. I used to have so many sleepless nights. My sleep has actually gotten so much better and my sleepless nights are few and far between. But, there are some nights where, as soon as my head hits the pillow the sleep disappears. All of a sudden, I’m wide awake. This usually happens on the days where I was exhausted all day, where I wanted to doze off in the middle of many tasks and may have actually dozed off throughout the day. I probably had too many cups of coffee, that may be one of the reasons. It’s also my thoughts that usually keep me up. Why is it that in the middle of the night all the irrational fears and worries creep back? All the what ifs, all the maybes. Everything I have bee procrastinating, I remember now. The boxes I meant to order to organize our vitamins and supplements. My appointment with my cardiologist that I have been putting off. The get well card I bought a month ago for a YOU friend and never sent, she is better already.

Did my oldest study well for his chemistry exam tomorrow? Is the AC too cold for my 4 year old who always throws off the covers when he’s asleep? Was the school we chose for my daughter next year the right decision. Is my mother in law ok in Jordan with the cold weather?  Am I giving the kids enough one on one time? My 11 year old wanted a hug, we started talking and I didn’t hug him. Will that scar him for life?

These are the crazy thoughts that keep me up at night.

Was that sound out on the neighbors roof a cat or a burglar?  Maybe the chicken I had for dinner was bad... Why can’t I sleep?

I almost walked into the wall coming upstairs, I was so tired! How am I wide awake now?

I have no idea, but yet here I am. I have to be awake at 5:30 which is in 4 hours. I was planning on doing so much tomorrow. I have my to do list notebook om my night stand. I have a class with my personal trainer tomorrow at 3. I need to sleep so I can work out without having one of my annoying dizzy spells that are slowly coming back. Maybe it’s the heat. I’ve been lugging 1.5-liter bottles of water around the house in an attempt to stay hydrated. Maybe I did drink too much coffee. I only had three cups. Maybe the last one was too late in the day. I know I’m not alone awake. There must be other sleep deprived people up wishing they were asleep. Well I’m with you. Insomniacs of the world unite! Let’s find a solution.

I just remembered I have an herbal tea that’s supposed to help you sleep. I’m going to go make myself a cup. Let’s see if it helps.

I’m back with my “Chamomile, Linden, Lemon Verbena” tea. Let’s see if this helps. Maybe I should try reading my book while drinking this. The same book I haven’t picked up since the beginning of Ramadan. During Ramadan I prefer to only read Quran and prayer books. Ramadan ended 12 days ago. (Has it been that long?) I should have started reading again sooner.

The tea is too hot, I’ll let it cool while I finish writing down my rambling thoughts.

What was that sound? Is someone awake? Maybe it’s that burglar (cat) I heard on the roof. I’m getting up to check.

It was my oldest, he woke up to use the bathroom and can’t sleep either. I offered him flowery herbal tea, he declined. I told him to try counting sheep. Maybe I should have tried that too.

I’m going to post this and try reading my book and drinking my tea. I’ll let you know if it helped tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll actually sleep.

Good night.

Update: I managed to sleep a little after I posted this. I did have trouble sleeping last night too. Its defiantly my thoughts keeping me up. I’ll try the herbal tea tonight before I go to bed.