Don’t Judge
On the last day of school, as I was walking in the kindergarten area, reminiscing about the past. How fast the years have passed by and how my kids have grown. I was greeted by one of the employees. Someone new-ish to the school, who I didn’t know well. We were talking and she was telling me what a good mother I was and how everyone always says I’m such a wonderful mother. Then she said something that has been bothering me. she said: I’ve always been surprised that you don’t have a college degree, how you haven’t completed your education even though you seem so knowledgeable and educated. I was shocked! Where did she get this idea? Why did she think this?
I quickly responded: I am an interior architect, I went to college. I chose not to work because back when my oldest was born, there weren’t many nurseries for infants and they weren’t up to my standard. I told her my kids come first. Now I’ve done many renovations for family and I am happy with that. She looked a little embarrassed and asked for my number so she could advertise for me. I politely declined and told her I already had enough work for now and my youngest still needed me. My kids will always be my first priority. I know there are plenty of working moms that are amazing moms. I know there are plenty of awesome moms that didn’t get a college degree , that doesn’t make them uneducated. That’s not my point. Every family has its own circumstances. Everyone is free to make their own decisions. When I was pregnant with my first, I discussed this with my husband and we both agreed that our children needed me at home. I am lucky that I never needed to work. I know staying at home full time with my kids is a luxury not everyone can afford.
I know nowadays nurseries have changed a lot and there are very good child care places for young infants and even newborns. I understand that some people need to work and some people want to work. I respect that. I’m not judging anyone. Everyone does what is best for them and their family.
That’s my point: don’t judge, don’t make assumptions. Why do compliments have to have a catch? You are a great mother, for someone uneducated! You look great, for your age! It’s not a compliment anymore when you put it that way.