Ramadan
Photo of the Prayer Garland I made.
This is my first Ramadan without my grandmother, May God have mercy on her soul. The week leading to Ramadan was hard for me. I kept thinking of her and how she was no longer with us. She had been the first person I called before Ramadan and Eid. Who would I call? How is she not here? I confess, lots of tears were shed throughout the week because everything reminded me of her. She loved Ramadan. It was her favorite month! She used to say: I wish it would never end.
When we came back from the US, experiencing Ramadan with family was so special. I remember how Iftar at each grandparent’s house (my mom’s mom & my dad’s dad) was different, each special in their own way. All the uncles, aunts, cousins getting together for Iftar was great. The table was set differently in each house, every family has their own traditions. Every family pitching in with a dish. Playing with my cousins, praying with the adults… Such special memories.
The older I got the more I understood the spiritual part of Raman. It is a month of worship. I month to focus and feel close to God. Fasting, reading Quran, praying. It brings me so much inner peace. I have more energy, more patience.
This month is all about peace and forgiveness. It reminds us to forgive and forget. To reconnect with family and friends. To help those in need. To connect with neighbors. We meet at the mosque for prayer, we send each other simple gifts, dates, a plate of food. It truly is the thought that counts. We help host meals at the mosque for those who don’t have family near by, anyone is welome. In Saudi Arabia you will find people standing at traffic lights giving away dates and water to those on their way home, late from work. It is a month of love when we are reminded that we are all human. We are all equal. I think, even if you aren’t Muslim, if you’ve ever experienced this month in a Muslim community, you must have felt the peace and love.
I confess Ramadan as a mother to young children isn’t easy. I don’t get much sleep. Functioning without much sleep and no coffee all day may seem impossible but during this month it isn’t. Meal preparation for me is easy. I plan ahead, have a lot of things prepared and ready in the freezer. Ramadan isn’t about eating so being prepared helps me focus on the important things. I somehow manage to care for my little ones. (I spent so many Ramdans with young children) I would keep them occupied planning for Eid, coloring decorations. I try to help them understand Ramadan by doing things together. When they were younger, we would make Ramadan decorations. I would sit with them in the afternoon and we would read Quran, and quotes of the prophet Mohammed (PBUH) A couple of years ago, I was looking for a new idea to do with the kids. I printed prayers on small pieces of paper and hung some small velvet black bags up like a garland. Each bag had a number pinned to it and a prayer inside it. Every day, one of my kids takes a prayer out of a bag and reads it out loud. It’s a small moment each day that brings us together. Even my youngest likes to feel include and he takes the paper and recites some versus of Quran that he’s memorized. I love that he wants to be a part of this even though he still hasn’t learned to read. We discuss the prayer and its meaning. It’s one of my favorite moments of the day.
I know that even though my days are busy with my kids now, especially my youngest. I may not have as much time as I’d like to focus on myself and my prayers, I know they will all grow and become more independent and I will have more time to myself. I try to to enjoy my days with them. Helping me prepare our main meal. Sitting together with their grandmother and father, enjoying our first meal of the day. Going to pray at the mosque with their father. Enjoying the yummy desserts their grandmother makes after taraweeh prayers. I look forward to more Ramdans together with them. I know they will grow up so fast and move out. I hope to make memories with my future grandchildren, the way I did with my grandparents and my kids do now.