Faith

I have been struggling the past two weeks more than usual. My father was diagnosed with cancer in December. I’ve been trying to write about it but, it’s been hard.

My father has been admitted in the hospital for the past two weeks and it’s been hard watching him like this. It feels like he has given up and I’ve been so angry, frustrated and sad.

This morning I had moment of clarity. I was thinking about my dad, how I had told my mother that all we could do now was pray that God gave my dad the strength to try and get better. We were doing everything we could.

This morning I remembered something God said. About how if we think something good will happen God will give us that but, if we think something bad will happen God will give us that. I realized that I had been so focused on being angry at my dad for giving up that I had forgotten that God is the one who can give my father the strength and will to try and get better. I know this is hard on my dad. It’s a hard diagnosis to accept, I think I was overwhelmed with emotion but this morning I had a moment of calm. I am doing everything I possibly can do to help my father and my mother, I’m there to be supportive and I’m doing everything physical possible to help. Now, I need to focus more on my faith. I need to remember that when I believe God will give my father the strength and will, I need to believe that God will heal my dad. It doesn’t mean it’s going to be an easy journey, I doesn't mean it’s going to be a short journey. But it will happen.