October

My Dream Travel Notebook

Last year (2021) the month of October was a month of celebrations, new beginnings and firsts. We celebrated R’s clear x rays (Read R’s story here) It was the month I finally bought my own domain and started writing in my blog. It’s also the month I traveled with my husband, without our kids for the first time! That was a huge milestone for us.

It started with my husband taking two weeks off work. Which he rarely does and really needed. So, we started planning a trip to Mecca (the Holy Mosque) with his mom. I asked my sister in law who has two boys my kids ages if she could come over and spend the weekend at our house with the kids. She agreed.

Then, when we were planning we had to postpone the trip to Mecca to the week after. So, my husband asked me: would you like to go to Dubai? Which of course I answered; Yes! I also really needed a break and although we’ve travelled a lot with the kids, we’ve never travelled without the kids. So, we started planning for our trip to Dubai during the last weekend in October which by coincidence was also my birthday. We don’t really celebrate birthdays but it was very special spending my birthday with my husband in Dubai. 

Thursday morning, we said goodbye to my two oldest and they went to school as usual. Then when my husband came back from dropping our daughter off, we said goodbye to the boys at home and their grandmother. My sister in law would come as soon as her kids finished exams and she finished work. Her boys still did school online, and she worked on line too.  Anyway, before I left I was feeling guilty so I ordered donuts for the kids. The donuts helped occupy my youngest. (he loves donuts because during 2020 when they lifted lockdown we would take them for a ride in the car and then my husband would go down and buy donuts. Let’s not talk about how much sugar we ate throughout 2020… that is a post of its own.)

We got in our Uber and we were on our way to the airport! With only two carry on bags and us! (I will brag that I am the queen of packing light and we once went to Malaysia with 5 kids for over two weeks and a day in Dubai with only two big suitcases and one carry on for Dubai. Yes, that too is a post of its own.) 

We arrived at the airport walked towards our gate and bought sandwiches and cappuccinos and sat down to wait for our flight to be called. We had skipped breakfast at home, there wasn’t any time and I was a little nervous leaving the house. I couldn’t help it, this was the first time I had left my kids since becoming a mom, that almost 14 years! I finished my sandwich quickly, the way any mom would. I didn’t realize how fast I ate until this trip and our trip to Mecca. I could easily be one of those youtubers who stuff their mouths and eat a truck load of food in seconds. Hahaha. But I’d gain a truckload of weight and probably have heartburn forever. (That last sentence made me feel old.. (eye roll)

The airplane was pleasantly quiet, maby one baby. The joys of traveling early in the morning on school day. I did have some teary-eyed moments thinking about leaving my kids. I tried not to feel guilty. I knew they would be fine and they would have a blast with their cousins sleeping over.

We arrived on time and grabbed a cab to the hotel. I think walking into our hotel room was the moment that we fully realized that we were alone. Well almost, the next morning when we went down to breakfast, after we picked a table, my husband told me to go get breakfast first, then we realized there were no kids to sit with at the table and we both laughed.  We are used to taking turns getting breakfast so someone stays with the kids at the table. I usually go first with the kids and help them get breakfast. Then I sit and help cut pancakes and waffles and make sure no juice gets spilled while my husband gets his breakfast. Then he comes back and I go get my breakfast. Sitting down to breakfast just the two of us was nice for a change.

We spent our three days in Dubai indulging in restaurants that don’t sell chicken nuggets and fries, drinking lots of coffee, talking a lot (and sometimes enjoying each other’s silence) and walking a lot. We did a little shopping. We didn’t really focus on gifts. Just things we came across that reminded us of someone. We had small suitcases and not much space and we were away to relax. We explored different places in Dubai that we’ve never been to with our kids. It had been over two years and a half since we’d been there (not counting the one day lay over after Malaysia) and there were a lot of new places!

I love traveling with my kids, but traveling without them was wonderful. I would definitely do it again. No guilt. I know it’s natural to feel guilty. I tried my best throughout the trip to not feel guilty and not check the cameras I have at home constantly. I even realized that while we were out and about, turning off the internet on my phone was wise because the kids would keep sending me messages and I didn’t need to reply immediately, if there was something urgent their aunt would call us. When we’d sit down somewhere for a coffee or a meal I’d check my messages quickly just in case there was something I needed to reply to, usually school related, then I’d turn off the internet again. I think it was good for my kids and for me to be a apart for a couple of days. I think that made them appreciate me more. I know sometimes we can take people for granted when they are always there.

This year, I actually started planning our trip to Dubai in my little dream travel notebook. We had already decided that we would go again in October. The weather is nicer at the end of October but we decided to go at the beginning of October because rates are better and it is a little less crowded. I had a (short) list of places I wanted to go to. Last year I had done zero planning, I was too busy worrying and feeling guilty. It’s a good thing I had planned ahead because the week before I was too busy worrying and feeling guilty again, but for different reasons. There seems to be a pattern… Definitely need to do more planning next year. Yes, I want there to be a next year- God Willing- The weekend away made a huge difference for both of us. We are both exhausted and stressed with daily life. Time away was just what we needed!

This year all the kids were attending school so we dropped them off and said goodbye and rushed back home, picked up our suitcases and said goodbye to my MIL. This time we decided to drive to the airport ourselves. We arrived with time to spare so after we checked in we went to the frequent flyer’s lounge for breakfast. Another, no kids, moment. It’s nice to only worry about feeding me for a change. Haha. I tried sleeping on the plane, I hadn’t slept well, worrying of course, I couldn’t help it.

This time I worried less, I knew now that the Earth wouldn’t stop spinning and my kids would be fine without me for a couple of days. I new my SIL would take care of them. I knew now that rationally, I had no reason to worry.

We had three amazing days in Dubai. We ate amazing food, drank lots of coffee, shopped at selected stores. I checked off almost everything off my list. We talked, we walked, we enjoyed our time alone. I am so grateful for the opportunity to spend time alone as a couple and reconnect.

I missed my kids of course and I know I value my time with them even more now and will try to give them more time individually.