Pregnancy

Pregnancy, such a delicate subject. Especially when you’ve been through a miscarriage or struggled with infertility. I’ve been lucky that I didn’t have fertility issues but I know many people close to me who do. I’ve been through two miscarriages and I know how hard that can be.

I’ve learned so much through my experiences with pregnancy, I’ve been pregnant seven times, I have five healthy kids and two angel babies. Each pregnancy was different. Some easier than others. Some that ended too soon… but I’m not going to talk about my miscarriages today. Today I want to talk about my pregnancies.

Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor or any type of medical profession. I am sharing my experiences with pregnancy. I know every pregnancy is different. I’ve been pregnant 7 times and each was different. I love my kids SO much and every time I found out I was pregnant I was over joyed! It is such a blessing!

I think people tend to focus on the positive (which isn’t bad) but, we need to talk about the negatives sometimes so people who go through them find support, it helps when you read stories you can relate to. It helps when you know you’re not alone. It seems like people feel like they are supposed to smile politely and say: I’m fine thank you. Whenever someone asks how they are doing. But in reality they want to say: the 24 hour nausea is killing me!

I think the hardest part is dealing with people who haven’t experienced it and expect you to glow and walk around happy like you’re a pregnant fairy sprinkling fairy dust as you float around! Can you imagine a pregnant fairy.?! (hahaha)

People need to be realistic, think of it this way. If you have a stomach bug, you’ll have to deal with nausea and vomiting. People will feel bad for you and wish you get well soon. But with pregnancy, since it’s a normal symptom, you should just tough it up and deal with it?! Yes, we are happy we are pregnant! No, it is not fun feeling like crap all day! I know from my experiences and people close to me that there are different levels of feeling like crap. Some people have a medical condition that causes them to be hospitalized because the nausea and vomiting is so bad they are in danger of dehydration and malnourishment! For some people it’s not as bad. But it’s still all hard in its own way and you should never compare.

I confess my first pregnancy wasn’t that bad, and I enjoyed most of it. So, I was that annoying person who told everyone to enjoy their pregnancy. The rest of my pregnancies taught me a lesson! I learned that it isn’t always easy to enjoy your pregnancy. There are good things about being pregnant, like seeing the baby on the ultrasound, feeling the kicks, my hair does get thicker and my nails stronger. It’s exciting and amazing growing a human inside your belly! It is such a gift. That makes it all worth going through all the unpleasant symptoms.

Another important thing you should remember is: you shouldn’t assume that just because she started the second trimester, she is automatically going to feel great and have that pregnancy glow everyone talks about. It’s so hard to glow when you are either nauseas or just threw up! You see we do get super powers when we are pregnant: Super smelling! Which is the worst thing possible because it’s not normal smelling, no, no. Your sense of smell has gone crazy, and now things you used to love, like perfume or coffee smell revolting! It’s hard when you are a coffeeholic and chocoholic (like me) and suddenly you can’t stand the smell or taste of them! You might think, well you hate coffee now so what’s the big deal? You simply don’t drink it, right? Nope, because your brain wants coffee but your nose and stomach don’t. So, it’s difficult mentally. With my last pregnancy I couldn’t smell or drink coffee and coffee is LIFE to me. I was sad, not to mention caffeine withdrawal and headaches. I eventually started drinking ice tea. It was my caffeine fix.

With my pregnancies, the farther along I was the more the nausea decreased. But of course, the bigger the baby grew, the smaller my stomach became and the more I had heartburn. I usually would have to eat dinner early and still have to sleep on multiple pillows with of course my new best friend: my body pillow. I only bought it for my last pregnancy but it was the best thing I ever did!

One of the joys of pregnancy is having to choose between not eating and dealing with the nausea or eating and dealing with the heartburn. It’s a lot of fun. Because your muscles are more relaxed and you have acid reflux. It’s like everything gives you heartburn so you might think: eat things that don’t cause heartburn. while there is a huge difference between eating a spicy burrito or a banana. If your body decides it wants to give you heartburn it will give you heartburn and there is no way you can lay down afterwards, hence the pile of pillows on your bed.

Apart from the food aversions and nausea, you have to realize that your hormones literally go crazy! It’s the hardest thing to deal with for you and the unfortunate souls who live with you. I like to think I’m a fairly reasonable person and I’m not too dramatic or sensitive. But when I’m pregnant, or breastfeeding, I become the most sensitive person ever! I could usually make a list of reasons why I cried each day. In my head I would be rolling my eyes at myself and thinking seriously hormones calm down. But it wasn’t something I could always control.

With my first pregnancy, my nausea wasn’t that bad but I soon discovered that it is actually all day sickness and not morning sickness, I had a healthy appetite in general, a few aversions, craved unhealthy snacks. (which was so not me) I indulged in my cravings and experience heartburn for the first time in my life. Not pleasant at all. I suddenly hated chicken and meat but could manage to eat it if it was mixed with something else. I slept a lot which was not ideal since it was my senior year of college. I managed to graduate (without telling anyone at college I was pregnant except my college professor, she was so supportive!)  I enjoyed my pregnancy in general. I wasn’t in a hurry to go into labor because that was the unknown to me. I was so content with my big belly and baby kicking inside. I carried my sweet boy for 42 weeks than had to be induced because I was overdue and the baby was measuring big. (all my kids do) I remember going to the hospital on a crisp November morning. I had no idea what was coming and I was so excited!

With my second pregnancy I hated a lot of food, including milk (which I usually love!) and drank about 2 liters of chocolate milk a day (all that sugar!!) I also would buy lots of chocolate bars, and eat them by myself (more sugar) I also started getting contractions during the second trimester and after being monitored was put on a medicine that stopped them but caused heart palpitations (so much fun...) I would take the pill twice a day and I’d have to put my toddler in the baby safe living room to play and watch tv (I know horrible but my husband was at work and I was alone) then I’d lay on the sofa for an hour or so until my heart palpitations would stop. The contractions never stopped so I took two steroid injections for her lungs in case she was born early. (She wasn’t, but she’s the only one of my kids that was born screaming!)

With my third I was much more active, no contractions, my nausea wasn’t so bad but I did always have a nasty taste in my mouth (the one thing all my pregnancies had in common) I’d eat sunflower seeds all day to keep the taste away.

His birth was also the fastest, I remember my water starting to leak, I was a couple of days over due… So I went walking up hill against the wind while my husband had the two kids in the car with him following me. I always say what helped move him in position was me jumping over a drain.. hahahaha. My husband  still remembers. We had spicy shrimp for dinner than I walked around the house while everyone slept. We drove to the hospital in the morning, he was born a few hours later.

With my fourth the nausea was much worse, I would start my day with a pear or apple. It really helped my empty stomach calm down and ease the nausea. Cooking was always a challenge. I’d be cooking lamb and it would smell to me like a had a live lamb in the kitchen with me! I would put ranch dressing on everything to help me eat until I reached a point where I hated ranch! Ha! I would have a salad for dinner with steamed broccoli and raw ramen noodles crushed up mixed with the powder spice that comes with it. Pregnancy does crazy things to your taste buds. Sometimes it was so hard to eat and I’d crave something and when I ate it the baby would hate it. Like, seriously baby? What do you want? I also started getting contractions early and was given weekly injections, not fun but at least it didn’t cause heart palpitations.

Fruit has always been my friend throughout all my pregnancies. Sometimes I’d take bites of watermelon in between bites of food to help me keep it down, or I’d keep a pear or an apple on the table just in case.

When I was pregnant with my first angel baby, I had the usual bad taste in my mouth, nausea (especially in the morning) , with my second angel baby the symptoms were milder (I will write about my miscarriages in a separate post)

With my last pregnancy, I hated all food. I craved nothing. I’d force myself to eat, it was so difficult, especially trying to hide it from my kids. We didn’t want them to know until I was in the second trimester and we were sure the baby was ok. I had done a lot of blood tests after my second miscarriage and the doctor said I needed to take baby aspirin as soon as we started trying to get pregnant. I started blood thinner injections as soon as a got a positive home pregnancy test. I’ve always been afraid of needles and couldn’t even prick my finger for a blood sugar test. But somehow, I managed to give myself injections daily for nine months. It wasn’t easy. I had days where I didn’t think I could do it. But I did. Becoming a mom gives you strength you didn’t know you had. For all of the first trimester and some of the second I continued to hate food. I’d force myself to eat healthy food. I didn’t crave anything. Then slowly the nausea went away and eating was easier. I craved salads mostly. I was so hot all the time and we slept with the AC on its coldest settings with my dressed as lightly as possible and my husband in a sweatshirt...

I had a scare at 10 weeks. (TMI alert!) I passed a clot so big it woke me up. I woke up and stood up and turned on the light. My husband woke up startled, he asked me what was wrong and I told him I passed something. I was so scared! I went to the bathroom and new as soon as I saw it that it was only a blood clot. (The things you learn after miscarriages...) My husband asked me if wanted to go to the hospital. I didn’t, I knew there was nothing they could do and they’d just keep me over night. I’d rather go in the morning and see a doctor at the clinic. We tried to go back to sleep. In the morning we dropped the kids off at school and went to my appointment. I had to go to a doctor I didn’t know since my doctor was on maternity leave. The baby was ok! That was all that mattered. The doctor was very pessimistic and unhelpful. I tried not to worry about everything she said. She said a had multiple subchorionic hematomas. Maybe they were caused by the blood thinners but maybe not, it was a risk to stop them so she decreased my dose. She also said the nuchal translucency was above normal meaning the baby might have down syndrome. She said if the hematomas increased it might lead to a miscarriage. She said if I miscarried it meant the baby was probably abnormal and is for the best! Like I said: she was pessimistic and very unhelpful.

My husband was overwhelmed. He didn’t understand everything she said. When we left, I explained everything to him and reassured him that I wasn’t worried and I had put my faith in God. I knew that ultrasounds weren’t a very reliable indicator of Down syndrome. Even if the baby did have Down syndrome we would love him as much as the rest of our kids. We called my sister in law who’s a doctor and her husband an OBGYN. They also were very reassuring and told me not to worry about miscarrying. We didn’t tell anyone else any of this because we honestly didn’t believe we had cause to worry. The doctor had put me on modified bed rest. Bed rest with 4 kids is hard. We managed. We hired someone to come help with the house work once a week. I’d sleep all morning so I had energy when the kids came back from school. I tried my best to rest and walk only when necessary. Kept my feet up when I could and hoped for the best. When my doctor came back she reassured me everything was ok and increased my dose of blood thinners to my original dose.

The rest of my pregnancy was uneventful thankfully. I still struggled with eating. I craved McDonalds which wasn’t something we ate back then (and rarely do now) so I had to explain to my kids that the baby was craving McDonald’s and if it was ok if I had some. They all told me it was ok because the baby made me do it. (so cute hahaha) Then I started craving salads. It was so hot and this baby really made me hot all the time so eating hot food was not appealing to me at all. I would try to add some sort of protein to my salad and usually had a salad for lunch and dinner. Breakfast had been eggs and ramen noodles with LOTS of fresh green onions on top since the beginning. Green onions was my favorite thing throughout this pregnancy and I put it on almost everything. I actually discovered how good eggs, ramen noodles and fresh green onions were during my second pregnancy and even though I don’t usually eat ramen noodles. Its something I’ve craved throughout my pregnancies in various forms.

As difficult as pregnancy is, there is a light at the end of the tunnel: as soon as you give birth, most of pregnancy symptoms disappear like magic! The nausea, the heartburn, puffy toes and cankles…are all gone as soon as the baby is safe in your arms. Its definitely worth it.