Bad Days

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto:

I wrote this back in April when I was going though an especially stressful time. I was hesitant to post, because it’s hard to admit that you felt overwhelmed by day to day life sometimes. I know it’s ok to feel this way. I am only human. I have been feeling so much better. A recent long weekend getaway gave me the boost I needed. I am posting this to remind everyone that its ok to feel this way. We need to take care of ourselves and ask for help sometimes. Give ourselves a break.

Sometimes being a mom is hard because you can’t t have a bad day. You can’t call in sick and stay in bed all day. The thing is, you will have bad days. Despite that, you will still have to do everything as a mom. You will still have little people depending on you to provide breakfast, lunch, dinner and clean underwear. You will still need to do bedtimes and school pickups. You will need to bottle up your feelings because you need to be the same loving mom as usual because your kids don’t need to know your having a bad day. Sometimes its ok to share your feelings with your children but sometimes, if it’s an adult issue, I don’t think you should burden them. They are only kids, they will become adults soon enough. Let them enjoy their childhood.

 If you’re lucky you will get a chance to go to the gym and take it out on the machines or do whatever it is that makes you feel better and take out the stress. If you’re really lucky you’ll have someone to listen to you complain about how taken for granted you feel for being a SAHM with no job instead of realizing you have multiple jobs.

Having these thoughts in the middle of the night when you’re supposed to be sleeping but you’re not because you got up to go to the bathroom. Then you had all these intrusive thoughts when all you want to do is sleep and you wish it was the weekend already or even better summer vacation! I think it says a lot when your wishing for summer vacation even though that means a house full of kids everyday all day for two months…

Then, it will hit you; that that’s the reason you’ve been feeling so overwhelmed by life lately. You are burnt out, it’s not one single thing, its an accumulation of so many things. You need a break, but that’s not always possible. As a mom, taking a break is something that requires so much planning and coordinating. You need to discover little things that help relieve the pressure when you’re feeling overwhelmed. You need to learn to delegate, ask for help when life seems like it’s too much. You don’t always have to do everything yourself.

As I write this I’m reminded of my word for 2023: Balance. I know I haven’t reached the Balance I aim for. I’m working on it. I’m learning. I still forget that I can delegate. I still forget that my kids are growing older and can help too sometimes. I still want to do everything myself, because I want things done my way. But, I’m learning. When I’m having a bad day, I try to do the things that I enjoy. Going to the gym is my first choice. Sometimes I go out for a cup of coffee by myself, something I never used to do. Sometimes indulging in a decadent dessert helps. Sometimes, a hug from one of my kids reminds me why I became a SAHM. It reminds me how blessed I am to have them. Its ok to have bad days. We just have to remember they aren’t all bad.

Renovations

Photo by Nolan Issac on Unsplash

Before we started any major renovations, I think the first project we did was fixing up a room for our kids after sharing a room with them for way too long. We had a boy and a girl at the time and we made it fun and colorful. I even stenciled flowers on the book shelf to match the carpeting.

I decided to paint a wall in the play room when my husband took my mother in law to Al Madinah. I was actually pregnant with my third and chose a water-based paint that didn’t have any dangerous fumes or smells. That wall was previously painted with a matt paint that would wipe away when I tried cleaning my young children’s art off the wall. I had had enough with their murals and decided to paint over it.

When my third was born as a gift for my two older children I stenciled flowers above my daughter’s bed and dinosaurs above my son’s bed.

After giving birth to our fourth child we turned a former storage room into a bedroom for the boys and redid the first bedroom for my daughter. She was five at the time and insisted all the walls be painted pink. She’s almost 14 now and hates pink! We also moved the living room to the previously play room and I finally made some matching art and felt that the house had my touch.( My husband had completely furnished our apartment before we even met.)

We started our first major renovation in 2017. Our first project was our master bathroom and my MIL’s master bathroom. The renovation was long overdue. We live with my MIL in my husband’s childhood home, he was born in what is now the dining room, so you can imagine how old the house is. (No, I’m not calling my husband old, house years are different than human years!)

At the time, we had four kids, our youngest was two and a half. A pattern we have noticed with renovations is, my husband usually has a work trip in the middle of it. With this renovation, he had multiple work trips and was barely home. It was summer vacation; my MIL was in her summer home in Jordan. So, I was alone at home with 4 young children and a major renovation project on my hands. Two of my younger brothers who were still students at the time, took turns staying with me to help out. That was a huge blessing!

The thing about renovating old houses is you are most likely to find some surprises! Not nice surprises, no, no! What-are-we-going-to-do-about-that, How-can-we-fix it? kind of surprises!

When we renovated the bathrooms, we found a concrete slab under the original concrete slab that had collapsed and was held up with the aluminum false ceiling. A very cool design feature back in the day. Can you imagine what would have happened if we had delayed the renovation? Who knows how long the aluminum ceiling would have held the concrete before it collapsed! We were lucky!

After this renovation, we started working on my mother in law’s house. (She lived on the ground floor, we lived on the first floor.) Every summer when she went away, we would choose a couple of rooms. We started with her bedroom, one thing led to another and we ended up doing the dining room, maid’s bedroom and living room. We also decided to change all the interior doors. That project, started simple, ended up being very complicated and stressful. We finished the day she was arriving and the cleanup job would have never finished without the help of two of my sisters in law and two maids we hired by the hour. The end result made it all worth it. My mother in laws delight with results helped us forget all the stress.

In the middle of the year when my husband was away for a week and my oldest had his foot in a cast with a fractured foot, I decided to change the carpeting and paint my dressing room and the stairs. Because, why not?

The summer after that we decided to do the formal living room, keep in mind I was about 7 months pregnant with my youngest and did most of the material shopping in the mornings under the scorching sun. It may have been hotter, but the evenings the traffic is horrible and the shops more crowded. In the mornings I had the streets and the shops to myself. Of course, we had to add more details to the renovation, changing the curtains for the living room and my mother in law’s bedroom a long with the formal living room. It may sound like simple tasks but choosing fabrics to match existing furniture is harder than you think. Especially when your choosing according to someone else’s taste. My mother in law prefers more classic designs, while I prefer more modern. We also decided to fix up the laundry room and maid’s bathroom, the kitchen ceiling and lighting. Not big details but they did require emptying the laundry room, buying tiles and lighting… Remember I was pregnant with my youngest and had 4 other kids. My kids were older this time and more help. I also hired a full time maid that summer. The biggest blessing!

The pandemic forced us to put our renovations on hold. Until a leak in water pipes in the street in front of our house caused the land to sink, and our main entrance and front wall shifting and cracking. We have to demolish the wall and buy a new door before they collapsed on their own. (It really needed an upgrade anyway) One thing led to another and what started as a new front wall (fence) and main entrance turned into a complete makeover of the front and back yard, and the addition of a third floor! The fact that we started the project backwards, digging up our front yard and then deciding to add a floor, made this project extra stressful. Some surprises along the way. (old house surprises are not fun) lots of setbacks, lots of mistakes, some were my fault. I may be an interior architect but I don’t have much experience. Some mistakes were misunderstandings. Some were just unimaginable. In the end everything turned out great and I am proud of the end result. The third floor is really a reflection of my taste and I love it.

It’s been over a year since we have finished that phase of the renovation and we are ready to start a new phase (and hopefully the last phase) of renovating our house. We are starting with my mother in law’s kitchen, which she has had for over thirty years± she is finally ready to let it go. We also have the second floor, with my kids’ bedrooms and my kitchen to renovate. Hopefully we will manage to finish everything quickly without any surprises.

I will take you along on our renovation as much as I can. Follow me on Instagram and Pinterest to see the progress.

If you haven’t guessed already, we started this renovation with my husband away on a business trip, haha.

Growing Up in UPM

Photo by Haidan on Unsplash

I talked about growing up in the US and moving back to Saudi Arabia. Today I would like to talk about growing up in the KFUPM faculty housing, or what we used to call UPM or al jama’a (the university). KFUPM stands for King Fahed University of Petroleum & Minerals.

As we slowly became a part of the community and made friends, we discovered the joys of living in UPM. I had a uncle who lived in UPM too. It was nice to have family near by. He was always one of my favorite uncles and one of the few uncles that we knew in the US. I remember when he first got married and brought his bride to visit us while we were still in the US, I resented her at first because i thought she was taking away our cool, fun uncle. How i was wrong, now i am so close to her!

We had two playgrounds within walking distance where we would play with the neighborhood kids. UPM in general and our neighborhood especially was filled with magnificent tall trees. Something that has always been important to me. I couldn’t imagine my life without them. I also remember our last road trip in the US when we stopped by the mountains in Pennsylvania and my mother told us to remember the lush green of the trees because we weren’t going to see much of that in Saudi Arabia. I didn’t understand until our first road trip to Taif. It was an adventure for us. I was in love with the beauty of the desert.

UPM is like a small town, we had everything we needed and could go months without leaving. We had a clinic, a school from nursery to high school, supermarket, which we called the co-op. a Shawarma restaurant and the Recreation Center. The recreation center was great. We had a library with a large collection of books and magazines. A cafeteria which had a distinct greasy smell that wasn’t bad but wasn’t good. They did have great french fries. A basketball court, two swimming pools for men and women. They even added a small gym next to the women’s swimming area.  There was even a dressmaker who would sew our school unfirms. I remember walking there on crisp cool mornings at the end of the summer with my sister to have our measurements’ taken before school started.

We really were like a small town in the sense that everyone knew everyone. All the kids played together. I could walk to the Rec Center or the co-op by myself without my parents worrying. Everyone looked out for everyone’s kids. I have so many great memories. There was a bazar held at the Rec Center in the fall usually in October my birthday month which made it more special to me. I would save up my allowance waiting for the bazar to see what treasures I could find; jewelry, a one of kind painting by a local artist. Always an apple fritter from a local donut shop and fresh flowers for my mom.

I have a lot of great memories at the Rec center. Having the freedom to go walking by myself was a huge blessing. I used to go with my sister to the library, meet up with friends at the swimming pool. I spent almost every day at the pool during summer breaks. I would walk to the pool in the early afternoon when the sun was hottest but the water was coldest. I’d almost always have the pool to myself because most people preferred to wait for the sun to go down and the weather to be cooler. My friends would come later in the day and we honestly would mostly stand in the pool and chat or play games, so I enjoyed my solo swims. I remember when my youngest brother was almost three my sister and I used to take him to the swimming pool. He was fearless and would run ahead and jump into the deep side, much to our despair. So, we always put his floats on his arms in the locker room just in case. He eventually took swimming lessons and learned how to swim so we didn’t need to worry so much. I never took formal swimming lessons but my aunt taught me the basics and I would try different strokes until I became a good swimmer. Swimming is my favorite type of exercise. There is something so relaxing about swimming. Especially when the sun is bright and the water is ice cold.

The library was one of my favorite places. During finals, sometimes I would go study at the library with my sister, we almost always found a friend studying their too. It was easier to focus in the silence of the library.

The librarians all knew us well. As I mentioned before we are a family of avid readers and we probably read most of the books in the children’s/young adults’ section. The library was also a place to photocopy papers for school, or photo copy interesting articles from magazines.

The biggest pleasure was discovering a new series to read. I read all the Laura Ingalls Wilder books multiple times, Enid Blyton Books, The Box Car Children, Beezus and Ramona, Babysitter Club, Sweet Valley High, Goose Bumps, Fear Street, Nancy Drew, Anamorphs... Anything I could get my hands on.

My school was within walking distance from home and I preferred walking to school instead of going by bus. I would wake up early, get dressed and read the newspaper. I always skipped breakfast. I would leave the house and early and usually be the first or second girl in my class. Most of my classmates were the same from the 5th grade until we graduated. I’m still in touch with a few. Four of them went to college with me. When we were in high school, my class liked rearranging the desks in our class room. While the rest of the girls drew different ideas on the blackboard, I would sit quietly with a paper and a pencil and draw an idea. A it if the time they chose my idea. One day our English teacher complimented us on our new arrangement and asked who designed it? She told me I would make a great Interior Designer, it’s funny how I didn’t take her words seriously. I met her a few years after I graduated from high school. I reminded her of the story and told her I was studying Interior Architecture. Its funny how things happen, isn’t it?

We had an annual gathering at the beginning of the summer when the girls who studied abroad came back home. Since I was the one who didn’t study abroad, I would usually host it. One time I cooked for them an Italian dinner, my brother who helped me get all the ingredients, asked me to cook the same dinner for his friends and I did.

When I was in college, one of the young mothers in UPM started a weekly gathering for high school and college girls. We would gather in a different house every week and she would talk to us about religious topics. She always made it so interesting and simple. Afterwards we would have coffee and simple desserts brought by the girls attending. It was always nice to have day to connect with friends who were going to different colleges and I didn’t see regularly anymore. On rare occasions the host would make dinner. It was always a casual easy going gathering. Lots of chatting and laughter.

Slowly, the group of girls that were close to my age, started graduating from college, finding jobs, getting engaged, married, becoming mothers. We slowly started to drift apart. I got married as I’ve mentioned a year before graduation. I spent a year at my parents, spending weekends with my husband whenever possible. I moved to Riyadh and lost touch with a lot of people. Now, when we go visit my parents, UPM is so different! I barely know anyone. It doesn’t have that one family feel that we had. I am so grateful that I grew up in UPM when it was at its best (in my opinion) I do see groups of mothers meeting at the park while their children play together. It does bring back memories. I know I grew up in a time when UPM was smaller, life was simpler and kids played outside more. I’m grateful I grew up in a time when video games weren’t as popular and no one had a mobile phone accept for a few adults. Where people still depended on land lines, mail, and paper newspapers.

I know the advance in technology has its benefits but I’m glad I grew up during a simpler time. I try my best to give my kids the time to play like kids used to with toys and dirt and slides. I hope they look back to their childhood’s as fondly as I do.

Moving Back to Saudi Arabia

Photo of Al Hada mountains in Al Taif

I talked about growing up in the US. Today I would like to talk about moving back to Saudi Arabia. When we moved back, I had a vague idea of what it was like from memories when I was probably too young to remember, photos, and my parents’ descriptions.

The flight to Saudi Arabia was a small adventure for me as a kid. We took multiple flights to reach Jeddah.

When we arrived at the airport in Jeddah, we were greeted by our aunts and uncles and some friends who used to live in the US too. I only knew three uncles who had visited us in the US. We got in multiple cars, I got in the car with our family friends with one of my brothers I remember they offered us boxes of milk and I was shocked; is this what milk tastes in Saudi Arabia? I loved milk! It’s funny how milk can taste different from country to country. We did find a brand of fresh milk that tasted similar to the milk we knew. We gathered at one my uncles house where so many uncles and aunts and cousins were waiting. I’m sure many tears were shed but I don’t remember that part. I just remember the excitement in the air and the joy. My dad’s family had a wedding to attend, my mom’s side of the family took us up to Taif to see my grandmother. I’m sure that was a tear filled joyous reunion. We probably had slept a lot on the airplane so we weren’t sleepy we stayed up all night with two of my cousins. We finished an entire box of cucumbers! Cucumbers in Saudi Arabia are small with small barely visible seeds. Delicious!

I don’t know how long we stayed in Taif getting acquainted with family before we got on one more plane and went to the Eastern Province; Dhahran. Our final destination, our new home. The university (Where my dad was a faculty member) has furnished housing for faculty. Our house had a big yard fenced with tall green bushes. We had a magnificent tree in the middle. I shared a room with my sister that over looked our front yard and that tree.

The first year was a jumble of emotions. It was hard adjusting to a new to us culture. Yes, we did have a big connection with the Muslim community in the US but life was different in Saudi Arabia. Not better or worse just different. I made new friends, but I missed my friends in the US. I kept in touch with some via mail. Something I wish the newer generations would appreciate.

My siblings and I weren’t fluent in Arabic, my school almost didn’t accept me because my Arabic was so bad. I even spelled my dad’s name wrong! To help us we had a lot of extra Arabic classes. Back then it was a burden to me. I missed out on all the fun classes; art, home economics, PE, computer, even English class! We had extra classes on the weekend in Arabic and Science. I remember my science teacher drawing a diagram of the heart on my hand while explaining it to me. I can imagine how hard it was, learning the Circulatory System let alone in a new language. I am grateful now for all the people who put in so much work to help us succeed. What a difference a year made for us! We also had the help and support of my mom and my aunt, who moved in with us for a year to help my mom tutor 5 kids! We were a handful and my aunt was a lot of help. When I look back and realize that I studied by myself the next year and only needed help studying history, I realize what an amazing job my parents, aunt and teachers did! I will always be in debt to them!

After one year we moved to a bigger house to fit our large family. We welcomed one more sibling a couple of months after we moved back to Saudi arabia which made us a family of 8 mashallah! In case you’re wondering, yes, my mom is a superhuman mashallah. But, that is a post of its own.

When we moved to our new house, I made a new friend. How did we meet? At the bus stop in the morning waiting for our school buses. She was reading a book, that’s what started the conversation. This friend whom I’ve been friends with since the sixth grade. We have lost touch and reconnected but I will always consider her a friend. We have a very special friendship and our parents called us sisters.

I think one of the most significant differences for me after we moved was the month of Ramadan. Yes, we did have a special connection to the Muslim community in the US. We were all one big family. We went to the mosque and had breakfast together and prayed together. But in Saudi Arabia it was different because the entire country celebrated this month. Almost everyone is fasting. (I actually had a college professor from the UK who was Christian and fasted out of respect, she was a wonderful person for so many reasons.) The atmosphere changes during the month of Ramadan. I can’t really explain it, but everything seems better. There is a warmth and peacefulness about this month. You can hear the canons (an old tradition that would tell people it was time to breakfast before we had microphones. This tradition ha stopped years ago but was still happening when we first moved) You can hear the prayers of taraweeh from multiple mosques in the area. Certain foods would appear at the supermarkets and restaurants such as sambuusa and kunafa (Find my recipe here.) Neighbors would share plates of yummy savory dishes and desserts. School hours and work hours would shift slightly to allow people to get some sleep after night prayers and suhoor. At school we had a Ramadan Evening, where we would perform for our mom’s songs, prayers, poetry.

Of course, the preparations for Eid were always exciting. Especially since we would go to Taif and spend it with my grandparents (may God have mercy on their souls) and aunts, uncles and cousins! Ramadan at my grandparents’  house was always extra special with so many relatives to share it with. My mom sometimes would do her Eid baking at my grandfather’s house and the smell of all the yummy sweets would fill the house while all the helping hands worked with my mother. Eid night was always exciting preparing for Eid morning. Waking up early and having breakfast with so many people. Getting all dressed up and receiving gifts and money from the adults. Eating and playing games with all the cousins. My siblings and cousins actually started a tradition of throwing a Eid party and playing games. My sister is the one who started the tradition of a piñata. One Eid my brother and I planned a scavenger hunt. We had so much fun together. Now you know how my own traditions started. After lunch we usually went to visit my mom’s side of the family at my grandmother’s house. How I would love to go back in time and spend one more Eid with her.

Summers were so much more fun now that we were back because beside living in KFUPM faculty housing which was a such a blessing. (I will talk about that next week inshallah) We also spent summer break with relatives. Either we went to Taif where the majority lived, and others joined us there, or, they came to visit us in Dharan. I have so many fond memories of spending summers in Taif. Between my paternal grandfather’s house and my maternal grandmother’s. We would spend it with so many cousins.  I have one cousin on my dad’s side who was closest to my sister and I’s age. We were inseparable. Sometimes we would spend the night at her house where they lived in a compound for a Military hospital where my uncle worked. It is such a beautiful place to live and we enjoyed the cool weather of Al Hada (Al-Hada Mountain is one of Al-Sarawat Mountains in the city of Taif West of Saudi Arabia.) Since it has a natural mountain terrain the compound was built on different levels with lots of stairs to go up and down. They had a recreation center where we could go swimming, play bowling, and even get a haircut. We could even go to the supermarket and buy snacks and rent a movie to watch together.

I am so grateful for all the wonderful childhood memories I have growing up; between living in KFUPM and spending my summers in Taif.

I will talk about growing up in KFUPM next week inshallah.

Growing Up in the US

Photo by Matthew Rumph on Unsplash

I am from Saudi Arabia, from Al Madinah. I was born in Lafayette, Indiana. We moved to Champaign Illinois when I was very young. I went to school there until the fourth grade.

We lived in two different houses in two neighborhoods that were near each other. The first neighborhood was called Fox Ridge. We had a big (in my little eyes) house with a basement. Our neighbors across the street had a girl my age, we were best friends. The street was full of kids of different ages and we played together outside every day. Life was so simple and so much fun back then. I remember my mom telling a story of when she invited me to a tea party once. A week later I invited her to a tea party without telling my mom! Was my surprised when her mom asked my mom what time she should drop her off!

We moved to Parkland Ridge before I started school. Our house was a duplex and our neighbors had a daughter one year younger than me. We quickly became best friends and played together every day. We made up so many games. We both preferred playing outside to watching tv. Sometimes my brothers and the kid down the street, would join us. My sister wasn’t much of an outdoors type. But, we played lots of games inside. We had such a big imagination and made up a lot of our own games. It’s a lot of fun when you have 4 siblings to play with!

We lived in a great neighborhood and it was perfectly safe for me to walk to my friend’s house up the street to play. My older brother would have to walk with me because it was around the corner and across the street and too far for my mom to see from our house. (I was only 9 at the time) Our bus stop was at the end of the street and it was a little downhill, so we could pretend to ice skate down on cold winter mornings. There is a small lake within walking distance that I remember walking to every morning with my grandfather and step grandmother (may God have mercy on their souls) when they came to visit the last summer before we came back.

My parents new most of our neighbors, I of course new the neighbored that had kids! We did have a sweet elderly couple who lived one house down from ours, they were so nice. Mrs. V would let us watch her work in her garden and tell us about the different vegetables she grew. When we had a 50’s and 60’s themed spring concert, she taught us what to wearing how to style our hair. Before we moved back to Saudi Arabia, Mr. V made us leather bookmarks with our initials burned into them. They were beautiful! I still have mine.

At school, I never was treated differently. I never felt different. Except during holidays, but our school respected that we didn’t celebrate their holidays. We never had to participate in the Christmas concert, or exchange gifts for Christmas. We did usually get a gift from Santa. Which I think was really kind of them. We were only kids after all. We enjoyed watching people dress up for Halloween, my mom would buy candy so we could give trick’o’treaters and see all their fun costumes. One Halloween, a family friend took us to a Haunted House. I remember it wasn’t too scary but a lot of fun. I admit that Halloween was my favorite holiday to watch but not celebrate. I like the slightly spooky atmosphere. There was something about the crisp cold of autumn in Illinois that somehow made everything better. Maybe it’s because I was born at the end of October. Autumn is my favorite season. I really miss that here in Saudi Arabia. Our Autumns and Springs are pretty short and completely different! My parents used to take us to this apple orchard where you can pick your own apples, get lost in the corn maze, pet sweet rabbits at the petting zoo, buy some old fashion candy and enjoy a freshly made apple donut and a cup of apple cider. I remember picking raspberries, my favorite fruit, there too. The bees were always a little intimidating but that never stopped me from picking those plump juicy berries.

We lived near a beautiful lake called Lake of the Woods. It was a beautiful lake surrounded by trees where we used to meet friends and have a lot of fun. I remember riding on the peddle boats when my uncles came to visit.

We went on so many school field trips to historical places. I really enjoyed them. It is so interesting learning about the history of a place. I don’t remember the names of the places but I remember visiting old houses, preserved with the original furniture. We even went to a historical village. I think all these experiences enriched my childhood.

I have nice memories of growing up in the US, of the friends I made (I’ve recently reconnected with one friend), the places we visited, the things I learned. My love for reading, which I’ve talked about before, started in the US with a great reading program at school and encouragement from my parents who are avid readers too. I think being bilingual has really helped me learn so much throughout my life.

Leaving the US was hard, I remember how my next door neighbor didn’t go to the airport with us because she knew she would cry. Most of our friends came to the airport to see us off. It was really nice of them and something I will always remember. It was bittersweet for us, we were leaving the only home we knew, yet we were excited to go back home to our family.

I will talk about coming back to Saudi Arabia and growing up here next week inshallah.

Insomnia

Photo by SHVETS production

I know I’m definitely not the only one who suffers from insomnia. I used to have so many sleepless nights. My sleep has actually gotten so much better and my sleepless nights are few and far between. But, there are some nights where, as soon as my head hits the pillow the sleep disappears. All of a sudden, I’m wide awake. This usually happens on the days where I was exhausted all day, where I wanted to doze off in the middle of many tasks and may have actually dozed off throughout the day. I probably had too many cups of coffee, that may be one of the reasons. It’s also my thoughts that usually keep me up. Why is it that in the middle of the night all the irrational fears and worries creep back? All the what ifs, all the maybes. Everything I have bee procrastinating, I remember now. The boxes I meant to order to organize our vitamins and supplements. My appointment with my cardiologist that I have been putting off. The get well card I bought a month ago for a YOU friend and never sent, she is better already.

Did my oldest study well for his chemistry exam tomorrow? Is the AC too cold for my 4 year old who always throws off the covers when he’s asleep? Was the school we chose for my daughter next year the right decision. Is my mother in law ok in Jordan with the cold weather?  Am I giving the kids enough one on one time? My 11 year old wanted a hug, we started talking and I didn’t hug him. Will that scar him for life?

These are the crazy thoughts that keep me up at night.

Was that sound out on the neighbors roof a cat or a burglar?  Maybe the chicken I had for dinner was bad... Why can’t I sleep?

I almost walked into the wall coming upstairs, I was so tired! How am I wide awake now?

I have no idea, but yet here I am. I have to be awake at 5:30 which is in 4 hours. I was planning on doing so much tomorrow. I have my to do list notebook om my night stand. I have a class with my personal trainer tomorrow at 3. I need to sleep so I can work out without having one of my annoying dizzy spells that are slowly coming back. Maybe it’s the heat. I’ve been lugging 1.5-liter bottles of water around the house in an attempt to stay hydrated. Maybe I did drink too much coffee. I only had three cups. Maybe the last one was too late in the day. I know I’m not alone awake. There must be other sleep deprived people up wishing they were asleep. Well I’m with you. Insomniacs of the world unite! Let’s find a solution.

I just remembered I have an herbal tea that’s supposed to help you sleep. I’m going to go make myself a cup. Let’s see if it helps.

I’m back with my “Chamomile, Linden, Lemon Verbena” tea. Let’s see if this helps. Maybe I should try reading my book while drinking this. The same book I haven’t picked up since the beginning of Ramadan. During Ramadan I prefer to only read Quran and prayer books. Ramadan ended 12 days ago. (Has it been that long?) I should have started reading again sooner.

The tea is too hot, I’ll let it cool while I finish writing down my rambling thoughts.

What was that sound? Is someone awake? Maybe it’s that burglar (cat) I heard on the roof. I’m getting up to check.

It was my oldest, he woke up to use the bathroom and can’t sleep either. I offered him flowery herbal tea, he declined. I told him to try counting sheep. Maybe I should have tried that too.

I’m going to post this and try reading my book and drinking my tea. I’ll let you know if it helped tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll actually sleep.

Good night.

Update: I managed to sleep a little after I posted this. I did have trouble sleeping last night too. Its defiantly my thoughts keeping me up. I’ll try the herbal tea tonight before I go to bed.

Cooking

Photo by Heather Ford on Unsplash

I don’t know if I have ever mentioned it; but I don’t really enjoy cooking. I was never much into cooking. I have always loved baking but not cooking. I guess when I was younger it was because I was grossed out by raw meat. The first three things I learned to cook involved ground lamb which I didn’t have to touch at all. One of them was actually a vegetarian dish.

My father opened the door to cooking for me when he bought me an Italian cook book. I was already obsessed with Italy. I studied about Italian architecture and their magnificent gardens and I was in love with anything and everything Italian. I confess that even then, I didn’t make much contact with raw meat. Haha. I did learn new recipes and one included fish! So that was a big step for me.

My mother is an amazing cook. Everything she makes is amazing. I think part of it is because she makes it with so much love. I have always helped her in the kitchen, chopping vegetables, stuffing grape leaves and cabbage leaves… I guess I preferred the artistic part, the precise part. I made the most beautiful kuba. I was specific shaping them all into the exact size and shape. Even my mother in law says I make the best ones.

When I got married, I mainly cooked Italian. We have always lived with my mother in law which is a huge blessing. She loves cooking and finds joy in feeding people. She is also the most amazing cook ever! We joke that even when she doesn’t make an effort or skips a step her food tastes delicious.  So, I rarely need to cook. I do make dinner for my kids but it usually involves pasta and tomato sauce. Young children are easy to please. Not that my husband isn’t. He will eat anything I cook and doesn’t complain. Not even when I made him burnt chicken, under cooked brown rice and a salty salad for lunch. Haha. That was when we were newlywed and I honestly didn’t have much experience in cooking. I did wash the salad which actually helped. Haha.

Now, I cook all sorts of different cuisine. I know not everything I cook is authentic. I’ve learned how to cook most of the typical dishes eaten here. I try to make dishes as authentic as possible. My oldest loves cooking and is a great help in the kitchen. He also helps choose new dishes to try. He is my critique and is always reminding me how unauthentic my Italian dishes are! Haha, the irony!

The past year with the renovation my mother in law lived with her daughter for a couple of months which meant that I had to cook. I tried to embrace cooking. I tried new recipes, my husband and children are very encouraging. But honestly, I still would rather hire my own personal chef. Wouldn’t most of us though?!

My mother in law just left on Wednesday for a two month vacation in her summer home in Jordan. Which means I’m back to cooking again. I’m not very excited about it but I will still cook.

I will post as many recipes as I can throughout the week on Instagram and Pinterest. I’ll try some new recipes. Maybe this time I’ll find the joy in cooking that my mother and mother in law have. 

Madinah

Photo by Amien Taryamin on Unsplash

I wrote this post on Tuesday, April 18th on the airplane from Madinah on my way home.

When I was going through my photos of the Prophet’s Mosque PBUH I realized I didn’t have many photos. I think that shows you how focused I was while I was there. How present I was. The city of Madinah gives you a feeling a calm and peace as soon as you arrive. The people of Madinah are a different type of kind you will only find there. They are so welcoming and hospitable.

That feeling of peace and calm increases at the Prophet’s Mosque. You will find people from all over the world, so different yet the same. We are all there for the same purpose. When I stood to pray there were people from different countries and backgrounds around me. We didn’t speak the same language yet we understood each other. I experienced so much kindness and generosity. We shared prayer mats and prayed together. We shared food at breakfast and ate together. Everyone sharing with the people surrounding them whatever they had to eat. I’m only talking about the people who have come from all over the world to pray. There is also a huge effort by the government and so many volunteers to help organize the massive amount of people. In minutes food is distributed and everyone has a breakfast package with the traditional Madinah futoor: dates, water, yoghurt, dukkah a mix of ground wheat and spices, and their famous bread “shraik”

There are also families from town that make their own Saudi coffee and bring their thermoses of coffee to share with all. The atmosphere of love and unity is truly one of kind. Though we do have the same atmosphere and love in Mecca it seems stronger in Madinah. It’s something I can’t explain but everyone I’ve spoken to has agreed with me.

When we arrived at Madinah, we rented a car and drove to our hotel which is within walking distance to the Mosque. My husband dropped me off close to the mosque so I could make it on time to Asir (afternoon) prayer, while he parked and check us in. The amount of emotions I felt waking towards the mosque was overwhelming. Feelings of gratitude and happiness that I was able to come during the Holy Month of Ramadan. I quickly arrived and sat waiting for prayer to start. The lady next to me started chatting with me, telling me about her trip to Mecca and now Madinah. We had a lovely chat before prayer started. We were sitting under the huge umbrellas that shaded us from the hot sun. We could feel the cool breeze of the fans that also spread a cool mist. It was as if they had managed to air condition the outside too. We spent the rest of the day between resting and praying. It was such an amazing experience. Something I really wanted after feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. Having a day and night of prayers by myself without any kids. Not being responsible for anyone except myself was exactly what I needed. I knew my kids were fine with my mother in law and sister in law. I am so lucky to have them. I didn’t need to worry about anyone. I got a day to myself, in my favorite city in the world. A day of peace and prayers.  (my husband was with me but women and men pray in different divisions) This is exactly what I needed! I already feel recharged and ready to go back and finish Eid preparations.

Eid

Image by Sidhik Keerantakath from Pixabay

We have two main holidays in Islam: Eid Al Fitr, and Eid Al Adha. Eid Al Fitr is coming up in a week inshallah. It marks the end of the Holy Month of Ramadan, a month of fasting and worship. Eid is our gift from Allah (God) to celebrate and give thanks for the blessing of Ramadan. I have talked about Ramadan here and here.

Eid day starts early in the morning as the sun starts to rise. It is tradition in Islam to eat a date first thing in the morning. We dress in our best clothes and go to the mosque for Eid prayers. It is tradition to go to the mosque one way and come home another. Part of Eid Al Fitr is Zakaat Al Fitr, zakat is a type of charity. The idea is for those who can afford zakat, give to the poor so the poor can celebrate Eid too. It is given either the last couple of days of Ramadan or the morning of Eid before prayers.

We go to Eid prayers with my mother in law and meet my two brothers in law and their families at the mosque. I have a tradition of taking a photo of my kids together before we leave for prayers. I love seeing their sleepy faces and how much they grow each year. Last year my oldest was in London during Eid Al Adha, a reminder of how fast they grow! I know they won’t always be home for Eid morning photos.

Eid prayer is a short prayer followed by two short sermons. After the sermons the kids both give and receive candies, small gifts and money. It is always a pleasure to see all the little girls and boys dressed up on Eid morning. People from different backgrounds and authenticities gathered together to celebrate. We always have a basket of candies with us for my kids to give out. We started a tradition way back to give lollipops in cute lollipop holders. I used to print them and cut them out. Last year I found some store-bought ones. This year I completely forgot, maybe I’ll have time to make some this week.

After prayers, my two brothers in law and their families come home with us and join us for breakfast. Then they all go home and everyone rests. We gather again for lunch with the rest of my husband’s extended family.

I’ve mentioned how we throw a party for the kids after lunch. Every year, we choose a different theme. This year we are doing Under the Sea again. We’re running out of themes and my kids don’t remember the detail of the first party in 2014. I’ll make a separate post about the party details inshallah.

A tradition I started with my daughter during Eid 2020 was giving the adults little boxes of chocolates. The first year I printed and made my own boxes and labels. Then I found a shop that sold beautiful, reasonably priced boxes. I now own a label printer and print the names.

We also make goody bags for the kids in the family. I make sure everything is dairy & egg free because we have a child in the family with allergies.

Throughout the day family and friends will stop by to celebrate Eid with us. It is tradiotn in most Arabic countries to serve coffee and sweets. Here in Saudi Arabia we serve Saudi coffee, dates, chocolates and mamoul; a type of cookie stuffed with dates. Every family will have their own special traditions. My mother in law makes the most delicious mamoul. My mother makes delicate walnut cookies that are light and buttery and disolve in your mouth. I will try to share some recipes here on my blog. Honstly, I’ve still got bakers block and haven’t been very motivated to bake.

The first day of Eid is a full day for us but it’s a very special day of family and friends.

Eid is a three-day holiday. The second day we usually go to my husband’s sister’s houses in the evening for a short visit to celebrate Eid with them individually. Sometimes we get together later at one house. Sometimes we go home for a quiet night together. The third day is different every year. We might go out and do something fun as a family or with relatives.

With only a week left for Eid, I’m almost ready. We leave baking for last of course. We’ve made (colored) most of the decorations. I’m planning on starting decorating the house for Eid this week. Follow me on Instagram and Pinterest for some sneak peaks.

The Newborn Phase

Photo by Sen on Unsplash

This post was inspired my brother and his wife who have just welcomed a baby boy.

I think, when most people think of newborns, they think of sweet sleeping cuddly babies. Which is partly true, what’s not to love? Right? There is another part of newborns that most people forget; it’s such a difficult phase! Especially when it’s your first baby. No matter how much you’ve prepared, its still hard! You have this tiny human that depends on you completely. Whether you decide to breastfeed or not (fed is best, do what works for you) you are probably leaking milk among other bodily fluids coming out of you and being spewed upon you by said tiny human… Your priorities change. Sleep comes first at any time or place. Eating comes second because sleep is so scarce you need food for energy. Anything else comes last. It’s basically survival mode. It is normal to feel exhausted. Giving birth as beautiful as it is, is hard work! It doesn’t matter if you delivered naturally, via c section, opted for an epidural, or an all natural birth. Each has its challenges, and requires rest afterwards. So, in addition to recovering from birth you are also caring for a tiny human who’s biological clock is synced with the other side of the world. Don’t feel bad if your baby stays up all night. Its normal in the beginning. Even if you hear people saying their babies slept through the night at this age. Ignore them! Every baby is different! I’ve had five, each one was different, my fifth gave me the most trouble sleeping! It took us over a month to finally start sleeping at night. Sleeping, not sleeping through the night. I would doze off in a comfy arm chair with my feet propped up holding my baby all night because the second I put him down he would wake up. As soon as it was time for morning prayers I would wake up my husband so he could take the baby for a bit and I could lay down. My husband was so supportive the first month! He took time off of work so he could do school mornings, pickups, lunch and dinner. I would be there for dinner and bedtime but I slept all morning because that was the only time I could put the baby down to sleep! It was exhausting! One thing I learned to prioritize was, my daily shower. I wouldn’t skip a day and it made such a difference for me. Sometimes something simple as taking a shower and brushing your hair can make you feel human again! Well as human as possible when you barely sleep.

Being sleep deprived really messes with you. You start speaking nonsense and doing strange things. I have put a gallon of milk in the cupboard and only realized it because the box of cereal was too big to fit inside the fridge! I have asked my kids to things that made no sense like go where your teeth and brush your pajamas. I have called them the wrong name and I have given the wrong child the cup of fortified milk countless times. I also develop what can only be describe as a type of hysterical laughing when I’m exhausted and sleep deprived. My oldest, who is now taller than me, takes in a bear hug and tells me I need to go take a nap. How times have changed.

With your first baby, even touching the baby is scary. They are so small and fragile your afraid you’ll break them. You want to clean all the nooks and crannies, babies have so many wrinkles and folds that collect fuzz among other things. You want to be thorough but you want to be careful.  Especially when the umbilical cord stump is still attached. You will be told that babies love a warm bath, they will sleep for hours afterwards! Not always true, some hate them! Some will become wide awake after said warm relaxing bath. You’ll learn what your baby’s preferences and develop your own routine.

Babies make weird noises, when they sleep, when they eat, when they poop… and in general. Sometimes it’s scary because you don’t know if its normal. The sounds while they sleep will probably wake you up. Is that normal? Is he ok? Should I wake him up? It’s usually all normal. You will be able to tell when it’s not and that is so rare.

It got easier for me with each child, it’s so easy to second guess yourself. Especially when you think you did everything right but the baby is still fussy. Sometimes all the baby needs is to sleep in your arms. Not ideal but sometimes that’s all they need. I spent so many hours being a human bed. With my oldest I had nothing to do and I loved it. With my youngest I had so much to but sometimes I had no choice! I did everything I could to help him sleep. I bought a swing for daytime naps, something I was against with my other children. I put the pack n play in the living room and would let him sleep on his tummy, with a firm mattress and no blanket. I know it’s still wrong and I would be constantly checking om him. Sometimes I was at my wits ends. I was so exhausted I needed him to sleep for my sanity’s sake. I bought different types of swaddles. This kind being my favorite. I would put a piece of clothing I had worn under him, tucked in firmly to be safe, in hopes that he would sense my scent and sleep longer. That worked sometimes. I bought a baby carrier, which was so much help! I had never used one before, but he was super clingy and sometimes the stroller was not an option!

You will find three types of people during this period; the helpful supportive people, who actually help, keep them close! The people who give unwanted advice and expect you to listen to them. You might say, they mean well and they probably do, but nobody knows what the baby needs more than the parents. There are so many different opinions on parenting, sometimes there is no wrong way. I remember with my first I had such strong opinions on what was right and wouldn’t listen to most people. I know now to pick my battles. Sometimes, you just have to smile and nod when people insist their way is best. Especially when it comes from well-meaning family members. The third type wants to visit you after you give birth to share their amazing super birth story, tell you how they baby slept through the night immediately and gave them no trouble with latching, was never gassy, or fussy. Keep them as far away as possible. Their kids are probably too old for them to actually remember any details of this sleep deprived, hormonal, exhausted time.

I know I’ve said this before but there is no one way to care for a baby. Every baby is unique in its needs. There is no “one method” to parenting. Trust yourself, you are doing your best. Remember this is a phase and like every phase, it has its difficulties and its joys. They will grow up faster than you can imagine and you will be left with the cute baby photos and one or two tiny outfits. Honestly, as I look back, I don’t think I have a favorite phase. Each phase is special in its own way. But since we are being honest, I don’t miss the new born phase. I’m glad I’m done with that phase of my life. I’m enjoying my kids at their different ages and the slight freedom that comes with it.

More about Ramadan

Photo by Tim Lippis on Unsplash

Last week I was having trouble finishing my post about Ramadan. I asked my YOUfriends; what they wanted to read about Ramadan. I got a lot of great feedback and was inspired to make a second post about Ramadan with more details about the Holy Month.

Ramadan is the 9th month of the Hijri (Lunar) calendar. Our months begin when we see the crescent moon. It marks the beginning of a month. That’s why we look for the moon before each month. Our months have either 29 or 30 days and every year is unique. Gregorian calendar follows the sun and that’s why it’s the same every year and the season are connected to them. It’s interesting because when I was a kid Ramadan was during the winter months. So, the days were shorter and cooler and it was easier to fast. This year is cooler than the past couple of years and we are grateful for that.

Also, we go buy the date of the prophet Mohammed PBUH’s pilgrimage to the city Madinah. So, this year is 1444 Hijri which means it’s been 1444 years since the Prophet Mohammad PBUH made his pilgrimage from Mecca to Madinah.

Fasting this month is the 4th pillar of Islam, which means it is a very important part of Islam. Ramadan is a spiritual month. A month of worship. It’s a month to get closer to God (Allah) We fast during the day while living our lives as usual. With small modifications, mainly because of the hot weather. In Saudi Arabia work days/ schooldays are a little shorter. Any professions that require work outdoors (e.g. construction workers) must work during the evening, after break-fast. At sunset, when we here the call of prayer. (Athan, we break our fast. Traditionally we eat a date first. In Saudi Araba & many Arab countries we drink liquid yoghurt (laban) with our dates. The slightly sour flavor goes perfectly with the sweetness of the date. You can break your fast on any type of food, it is a tradition of the Prophet PBUH to start with “Rutab” (ripe, soft dates) or tamr “ (ripe, sundried dates) or water.

Some traditional foods we eat during this month are; soups, salads, sambousa with different fillings. We also tend to eat sweets with coffee after taraweeh.  Every family has slightly different traditions when it comes to what and when we eat. In general, we have two main meals. One is usually a light meal and the other is the main meal.

Ramadan evenings are a time for praying. In Islam praying “salah” is a physical action. There are specific movements and prayers (supplications) we say. Verbal prayers in Arabic is Du’a’. So, I f I say pray I mean the physical prayer. If I say Du’a’ it means verbal prayer.

During the month of Ramadan, we have a special prayer that we only pray during this month: Taraweeh. We pray it after our last prayer for the day: Isha. You can pray at the mosque, or at home by yourself. I have been praying at home since I became a mom because I know that young children don’t have the patience to stay quiet and still for so long, . When my kids grow older thy start going to the mosque with their father and grandmother. I honestly enjoy praying at home, even when I have little companions playing around me. The prayer ends with a Du’a’ where you are simply standing in the hands of God asking for whatever you want. We do focus on strengthening our connection with God, gaining his love and reaching the highest levels in Heaven. We also pray for worldly things like our health, families and prosperity. We pray for the world. Especially war-stricken countries. We prayed a lot for the world throughout the pandemic.

The Quran was first revealed to the prophet Mohammed PBUH in the month of Ramadan. We don’t know the exact date. We believe it is one of the last ten night of Ramadan. That night is named “Laylat al Qadr’ (the night of power or the night of decree) Allah informed us that praying on that night equals 1000 months of prayer which is a high honor Muslims hope to obtain by praying taraweeh and tahajud prayers.

The month isn’t only about fasting and praying, it is about checking on those less fortunate and supporting them however they need. It is about connecting with neighbors, who in Islam are very important. The prophet PBUH emphasized the importance of being a good neighbor. Ramadan is about connecting with family, which doesn’t necessarily mean big family gatherings and extravagant meals. It means asking about one another and checking on each other. Being there to support each other and share our journey of worship throughout this month.

I love that my oldest son walks his grandmother to the mosque, she prefers walking and likes to go early so she can walk at her own pace. It’s a short walk. I’m grateful my son has this chance to share these walks with her. I’m grateful that my kids get to see their uncles almost daily as they come over after praying together at the same mosque in our neighborhood to say hi and share a cup of Arabic coffee and a date or a dessert if we’ve made any. It’s about being together, precious time spent with family. Family drop by during the day sometimes just to check in on my mother in law. We are all fasting, they just drop by for a quick chat and leave. These connections are priceless.

To Muslims, the month of Ramadan seems to be the shortest month of the year. It flies by and before we know it, we are looking for the crescent moon to know if we will be fasting 30 days or only 29. After a month of Fasting and prayers, we prepare for Eid our first holiday of the year. A celebration of a blessed month of fasting and praying. God’s gift to us.

I hope this has opened a little window into what Ramadan is to us, to me. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Ramadan

Photo of the Prayer Garland I made.

This is my first Ramadan without my grandmother, May God have mercy on her soul. The week leading to Ramadan was hard for me. I kept thinking of her and how she was no longer with us. She had been the first person I called before Ramadan and Eid. Who would I call? How is she not here? I confess, lots of tears were shed throughout the week because everything reminded me of her. She loved Ramadan. It was her favorite month! She used to say: I wish it would never end.

When we came back from the US, experiencing Ramadan with family was so special. I remember how Iftar at each grandparent’s house (my mom’s mom & my dad’s dad) was different, each special in their own way. All the uncles, aunts, cousins getting together for Iftar was great. The table was set differently in each house, every family has their own traditions. Every family pitching in with a dish. Playing with my cousins, praying with the adults… Such special memories.

The older I got the more I understood the spiritual part of Raman. It is a month of worship. I month to focus and feel close to God. Fasting, reading Quran, praying. It brings me so much inner peace. I have more energy, more patience.

This month is all about peace and forgiveness. It reminds us to forgive and forget. To reconnect with family and friends. To help those in need. To connect with neighbors. We meet at the mosque for prayer, we send each other simple gifts, dates, a plate of food. It truly is the thought that counts. We help host meals at the mosque for those who don’t have family near by, anyone is welome. In Saudi Arabia you will find people standing at traffic lights giving away dates and water to those on their way home, late from work. It is a month of love when we are reminded that we are all human. We are all equal. I think, even if you aren’t Muslim, if you’ve ever experienced this month in a Muslim community, you must have felt the peace and love.

I confess Ramadan as a mother to young children isn’t easy. I don’t get much sleep. Functioning without much sleep and no coffee all day may seem impossible but during this month it isn’t.  Meal preparation for me is easy. I plan ahead, have a lot of things prepared and ready in the freezer. Ramadan isn’t about eating so being prepared helps me focus on the important things. I somehow manage to care for my little ones. (I spent so many Ramdans with young children) I would keep them occupied planning for Eid, coloring decorations. I try to help them understand Ramadan by doing things together. When they were younger, we would make Ramadan decorations. I would sit with them in the afternoon and we would read Quran, and quotes of the prophet Mohammed (PBUH) A couple of years ago, I was looking for a new idea to do with the kids. I printed prayers on small pieces of paper and hung some small velvet black bags up like a garland. Each bag had a number pinned to it and a prayer inside it. Every day, one of my kids takes a prayer out of a bag and reads it out loud. It’s a small moment each day that brings us together. Even my youngest likes to feel include and he takes the paper and recites some versus of Quran that he’s memorized. I love that he wants to be a part of this even though he still hasn’t learned to read. We discuss the prayer and its meaning. It’s one of my favorite moments of the day.

I know that even though my days are busy with my kids now, especially my youngest. I may not have as much time as I’d like to focus on myself and my prayers, I know they will all grow and become more independent and I will have more time to myself. I try to to enjoy my days with them. Helping me prepare our main meal. Sitting together with their grandmother and father, enjoying our first meal of the day. Going to pray at the mosque with their father. Enjoying the yummy desserts their grandmother makes after taraweeh prayers.  I look forward to more Ramdans together with them. I know they will grow up so fast and move out. I hope to make memories with my future grandchildren, the way I did with my grandparents and my kids do now.

Among Us Party

Two weeks ago, we finally had the Among Us Party. I had promised them this theme about 8 months ago. I was a little worried they wouldn’t find it fun since it’s been 8 months and they haven’t been playing Among Us as much lately. I had nothing to worry about. They had a blast. I didn’t invite many kids. My 5 kids and their three brothers by milk, plus one cousin. 9 kids were more than enough. As soon as my daughter finished finals she started helping me plan. I had already ordered little Among Us figures as Gifts at the end of the party. I ordered inexpensive colored t shirts for all the kids. I found some fun Among Us stickers that I used to make a garland, decorate the snack bowls and water bottles. Decorations and food were simple because I needed to focus on the tasks. Like I’ve mentioned before; games are the most important part of a party.

Free Printable from originalMOM

I found this great post by originalMOM about how to throw an Among Us Party with free printables. It was honestly so much help! I also found a website that explains the game and helped me come up with more tasks. This website also helped me locate the tasks so I could place them in the correct room. I have played Among Us with my kids in the past but I’m no pro.  I had 7 kids playing , each one needed at least 4 tasks. My daughter preferred to plan with me and not play. My youngest is four so, we gave him a list of tasks but let him do whatever he wanted. He had a blast playing with the big kids!

I admit that there were a few things that I didn’t have time to do the way I wanted. I ended up writing the tasks by hand on note cards. I also wrote the name of the tasks on note cards. The kids didn’t mind. I don’t think they even noticed.

I had signs for each room.  A note card for each task. I used a red paper as a background for the black signs for a pop of color and make the signs more visible. We had three floor and the front yard for them to play in. we made a WhatsApp group (some of the older kids had phones) that made it easier to call an emergency meeting if they found a body. We would give each kid a task card. We wrote the kids names on paper and would pick two random papers to choose the Imposters. After playing a couple of times they decided they wanted to add a Jester. The Jester acts suspicious so they vote him out. If he gets voted out he wins the game. If the Imposters kill everyone, they win. If the Crewmates complete all their tasks they win.

Playing it in real life requires some creativity. You can’t play it exactly the way they do in the video game. I had to make more tasks because I had a lot of kids playing. Honestly, if they wanted to play it again i would try to add more tasks. they had so much fun plating it but four tasks each ended up being super easy.

These are the tasks we had:

Most of them were from OriginalMOM. (It made planning this party so much easier!)

1. Submit Scan (Med Bay) We used a hula hoop. The stood in the middle of the hula hoop and lifted it up over them to scan themselves.

2. Garbage disposal: (Cafteria) I have a recycling bin in my kitchen fo plastic. I threw a bunch of bottles on the floor and they had to pick them up.

3. Clear astroids. (Weapons)

I printed two sets of asteroids and taped them to plastic cups. They used a toy gun that shoots foam balls to “clear the astroids”.

4. Clean the O2 Filter: (O2)

They needed to pick up all the fuzzy balls off the “O2 Filter” with chopsticks. I told them if you don’t know how to use chopsticks you can use the however you like. Its a game have fun!

5. Start the Reactor: (Reactor)

Play the matching game.

6. Enter ID Code: (Admin)

I used the decoders for this task. I made three different codes for them to deciipher. I had a small pad of sticky notes and had them give me th secret code so the others wouldn’t see it. I laminated the decoders and the “computers” so we could reuse them.

7. Fix Wiring: (Electrical)

They need to crisscross the wires. (rope) I didn’t have enough brads but it worked.

8. Fuel Engines: (Storage)

I had an empty water jug with a funnel in it and a water bottle filled with water. They had to pour the water (fuel) into the funnel to fill the jug. (engine tank)

9. Chart Course: (Navigation) Complete the maze. I laminate it and had them use an erasable board marker.

10. Unlock Manifolds: (Reactor)

Match the keys to the locks and unlock them. I had 4 locks.

11. Align Engine Output: (Engines)

I had three different tasks for this without realizing . i numbered them 1,2,43. Later my kids told me They are actually upper engine and lower engine.

I tied them together so they had to untie them first just to make it a little more challenging.

I cut a transparent folder and drew on it. They had to move the top layer to align it with the drawing under it.

12. Stabilise Steering: ((Navigation)

Cover the red tiles with the white tiles.

13. Calibrate the Distributer:

I cut out circles and wrote the fractions: 1/4, 1/2, 1, 1/4- 3/4, 1/4, 1/2, 1/4, 1/4 on the circles. They had two make the two sides of the scale even.

14. Assemble Artifact: (Security)

Put together a giant puzzle.

15. Divert Power:

I had three different tasks for this one. Two were outside where they hadto either turn on th front yard lights without turning on the street lights. They had to start over if they opened the wrong lift.

The third one was upstairs. They had tun on the spotlights only without turning on the rest of the lights.

16. Fix Weather Node: (Admin)

My daughter had the genius idea using magnets t mimic the task in the video game. We gave them a time limit (ten seconds to make it harder)

I taped the paper to the inside of the plastic container. The magnet was attached to another magnet inside the container.

There is another magnet inside the container, if the agent drops they have to start again.

Food:

For food we had colorful fruit, colorful candy and a pull-apart cupcake Among Us character made by my vey talented 13 year old daughter.

Party Favors:

I bought these super cute figures. You can take off the hats and switch them around. They had too much candy so I decided goody bags were unnecessary.

I hope you enjoyed this post. If you have any questions please leave me a comment. I’ll come back and add links soon.

Letting Them Grow

I’d like to apologize for not posting details about the Among Us Party. I will post it next week inshallah.

Photo by Jannis Lucas on Unsplash

My oldest is fifteen. He may be taller than me (mashallah), but he’s always going to be my little boy. Last summer we decided to send him to London to take a six-week English course. It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. How do you send your child to a different continent alone? We did a lot of research. We asked lots of questions. After talking to the woman organizing the program multiple times and discussing it with our son we decided to enroll him in this program.

Something my son said to me sums up how much I was worried. I was packing his suitcase with him and he told me not to worry, my response was: I'm not worried! He replied: mom, you gave me two big containers of gum, and I'm only going to be on the airplane twice! Of course, I was worried, he was going to travel by himself for the first time, he was going to a country he had never been to, so the airport would also be new to him. Yes, there would be someone from the college there to pick him up. We asked at the airport here for him to have a guide so he had assistance at both airports. I gave him a crash course on ironing and using a washer. I packed clothes for all sorts of weather, and at the last minute, we gave him a small suitcase so we could give him a heavy jacket, just in case. London was sunny and warm the entire time he was there and he never needed the jacket or the umbrella I packed him. I wrote him a bunch of “open when” cards. He never needed them. Yes, he missed us. But I guess he wasn’t gone long enough to be homesick. He also had a very busy schedule so he didn’t have much time to sit and think about how much he missed us. He did FaceTime us a couple of times and send messages. Technology can be such a blessing when your far from home.

It was a great opportunity for him. He had different roommates. (the courses are different lengths and his first roommate left before him) He learned to deal with different types of people. He made new friends from different parts of the world. (He’s still in touch with some.) He learned a lot and experienced London by himself. Honestly, I am so proud of him! He was praised by all. He was always on time, worked hard, and finished his assignments on time. He learned to do his laundry. He kept his room clean. He was pretty good about spending money. He even bought everyone small gifts. I did constantly worry. I couldn’t help it. I trusted him, I knew he was responsible and mature for his age, but in the end, he was 14, only a child. Even if sometimes he was mistaken to be older.

It was a good learning experience for him and us as parents. we learned to step back and give him space. To put our faith in him and how we raised him. It's not easy stepping back but we have to let them grow.

A week ago we sent him on a school trip to Malaysia. Our experience with London made it easier for him and for us. This time he was going with his teacher and classmates. That also helped. When he was leaving for London he was a little hesitant, when he left for Malaysia he was much more confident. He even told me to go home after we arrived at the airport. He was with his classmates and teacher waiting for the rest of the group, but I needed to wait and see him go inside to his terminal.

He came back a little more confident, with more knowledge and experience.

I think this is what we aim for as parents. We work hard so our kids can get the best education, have the best opportunities and be more successful than us. We want the best for them always.

I know part of me wants to keep all my kids close to me. I want to know they are safe always. I know that’s not realistic. It’s wrong. We need to trust that we have done our best, we have given them all the love, support, and knowledge we can so they can go out into the world and be successful adults. It’s not easy. I know for me, I’ve learned from the oldest that I’m doing ok as a mom.

That doesn’t mean I won’t stop worrying. But maybe I’ll worry less.

Change of Plans

Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash

Funny how things don’t always go as planned. I have yet to catch up on my to do list since I got sick in January. I had posted about planning a party for my kids over two weeks. My kids had finals last week. My oldest is on a school trip. I am a planner, I like to plan everything. I love writing a list and checking things off. I like to be prepared for everything. But sometimes things don’t go according to plan. This week was no exception. I spent most of the week on the sofa, I did the bare minimum that was necessary.

Two weeks ago, I started coughing again. I thought I’ll to the doctor now so it doesn’t get worse. That didn’t happen. It got worse I went back 4 days later; the doctor prescribed much stronger medicine. A mistake was made and they prescribed the wrong dose of Ventolin which made me feel worse. The side effects can be really exhausting. (Heart palpitations, tachycardia, shaking, blurred vision) Back to the doctor on Saturday and again Wednesday morning… I am slowly getting better. Meanwhile, I barely got anything done. My kids usually study by themselves except for my 4th grader who I usually help. I could barely talk without coughing so I helped as much as I could but he depended mostly on himself. The Ventolin caused blurry vision so reading was difficult. I could barely focus on my kids’ studies. I managed to find a couple of ideas for the Among Us Party. I’m probably making cupcake pull apart cake. My oldest went shopping with his father for the thing he needed before his trip. I helped him pack the night before. I like packing early but we managed to pack everything and if we forgot something he will survive. I made the wise decision of freezing my gym membership for 15 days. I know now that my body needs to rest. I may have pushed it too hard before and after the marathon. I’m trying my best to rest and recover. It is hard not being able to do all the things I’m used to. I honestly am still exhausted and don’t have the energy. I am beginning to feel better after I started my second bout of antibiotics.

I was supposed to add a photos page to my blog with photos of past parties. I was supposed to find party ideas and post them on Instagram and Pinterest. I am supposed to have a new post for today. I don’t, well unless you count this little rambling post. Its ok. I am human after all. I guess this is what my blog is all about. Real life. What it really is like being a mother of five. I’m trying my best to be consistent here posting every Saturday. Keeping up on social media. I’m doing my best.

Parties

Photo of the garland my kids made for our first Eid party.

Holidays are an important part of our lives. People celebrate in different ways, different holidays. Everyone has their own traditions, most of them just happen , they aren’t planned or intentional. It doesn’t matter, they are all equally special. I was born in the US. Growing up there as a Muslim, we saw people celebrating so many different holidays that we didn’t celebrate. Christmas, Easter, Halloween, Valentine’s day… The thing is, I never felt left out. I was never envious, or ever wished we celebrated these holidays too. In Islam we have two holidays: Eid Al Fitr, and Eid Al Adha. My mom made these two holidays so much fun for us. We had a great Muslim community. We had so many traditions. We looked forward to our holidays all year. So, we never felt like we were missing out! I’m so grateful for all the great memories of Eid growing up. Naturally I wanted to make Eid special for my kids too.

We started our own traditions when the kids were really young. We started throwing Eid parties and end of the school year parties. I’d let my kids choose the themes and we’d plan them together. When they were really young I’d print things they could color and cut them out and make garlands. I would let them help me make most of the decorations. We would even make a piñata together. I’d bake a cake and decorate according to the theme (and it almost always was a disaster because of last minute decorating! haha) We’d even get/ make snacks - food matching the theme. It was a lot of fun. As they grew older my boys lost some of their enthusiasm to actually make decorations but would still help choose the theme and plan. My daughter’s enthusiasm has increased with time and makes most of the decorations and desserts herself. When they were younger we’d invite all the cousins around their age, plus the mothers. (A lot of people!) COVID limited the numbers for a few parties and as the kids grew older it became harder accommodating all ages and preferences and we usually make the end of school party for the older cousins near my kids age and the Eid party for all cousins. It’s a lot of fun for me to plan with the kids. I love making the decorations and finding fun new games to play. We’ve played so many versions of “Pin the tail on the donkey” that its become forbidden on our list of games. We’ve also played so many different versions “corn hole” that it is also on the forbidden list.

When I started this tradition, I wanted to make Eid as fun and memorable as possible for my kids and the family. We usually spend the first day of Eid at home. (Since we live with my MIL) and family and friends will come to visit and celebrate the holiday with us. It was usually boring for the kids and after lunch we usually had a quiet period where there wouldn’t be any guests and the adults would take naps or sit quietly drinking coffee. (we wake up at dawn to go to Eid prayers so we are all up early. The kids usually take a nap in the morning after breakfast so they weren’t sleepy. So, I started gathering all the kids upstairs in my living room and throwing a party. I never knew how much joy it would bring and the entire family. It’s something I hope I will always be able to do.

I have learned over the years that the kids don’t care how perfect everything is, they enjoy the decorations and the yummy treats but what’s the most important is the games! Its starting to get harder to find fun games for the older kids but I’m always looking for inspiration. Pinterest is my best friend! I know now that 5 minute games are the most fun and let more people play in a short period of time. The games don’t have to follow the theme. Especially now that the kids are older, as long as its fun!

Last year I had promised them anAmong Us Party, but I had so much going on I was just too burnt out to plan it. I ended up throwing a pool party (minus the pool hahaha) I used a lot of games we had played at the first pool party I threw in 2017. None of them remembered the games and they had a blast.

Throughout the next two weeks I’ll take you with me while I plan, prepare and throw them an Among Us Party. Follow me on Instagram & Pinterest. 

We’ve had lots of themes over the years Here is a list of them:

Eid Parties:

2012 Our first Eid party; no theme. 

2013 Rainbow

2014 Under the sea

2015 Garden

2016 Safari

2017 Space

2018 Snow

2019 Around the world

2020 Candy

2021 Tropical

2022 Camping (again)

2022 (Eid Al Adha) Carninal

Usually for Eid Al Adha we don’t have a theme, last year was an exception.

End of school year:

2014 Cars + Disney Princess (our first party which was basically a store bought cake and two garlands)

2015 Pajama Party

2016 LEGO 

2017 First Term: Camping

2017 Pool Party

2018 Dinosaur

2019 Escape room

2020 Online Zoom Party (we were on lockdown)

2021 A really simple pool party. ( Only 3 cousins)

2021 Haunted House Party (it was more of an in the middle of school party and we held it twice so we could invite different cousins (because of covid and family members with weak immune systems.) This was my favorite party!

2022 Pool Party

I will post photos of past parties soon. Excuse the bad resolution on some. (Most taken by my phone with the exception of some taken by my niece’s camera) I will add more photos in the future and more details about the parties. Feel free to ask me about any details. 

Reading

Photo by Olga Tutunaru on Unsplash

I’ve loved reading for as long as I can remember. I remember reading to my younger siblings, my older siblings reading to us. My mother sitting in the hall in-between our bedrooms reading to us…

I remember how our elementary school back in the United States really encouraged reading. We had a reading tree with different colored leaves depending on how many minutes you read. I remember we also got stars on our Pizza Hut Pins (a pizza restaurant) If you got enough starts you got a free pizza. I honestly don’t remember what you got when you read the most minutes. I remember that it was a big deal to have the principle call your name during assembly and give you your leaf to hand to the custodian who would pin it to this massive tree on the wall of the gym. My two older siblings and a friend in my class were always competing for most minutes read.

It was really helpful that at home we all loved to read. Going to the library or the bookstore was our favorite thing. I remember we would read whatever we could get our hands on. We were lucky the library had a book-mobile park up the street every two weeks in the US. When we moved back to Saudi Arabia, we lived within walking distance to a library. I’ve read so many books I could never name them all. My best friend and her family were also avid readers and we used to lend each other books. I remember when Harry Potter came out, it came out in the US before Saudi Arabia. My friend had siblings in the US so they would send them the books then the entire house would read them, then the books were given to me to read and pass on to my siblings.

When I was in college I read “Under the Tuscan Sun” by Frances Mayes. It took me to Italy with her. I was seeing, smelling hearing and tasting everything with her. It made me love Italy even more than I already did while studying about architecture and landscaping. I’ve already bought all of her books related to her life in Italy and have enjoyed every single one! When I had that -aha- moment and realized I had only been reading self-improvement and parenting books, I searched for new books to read, I discovered new authors who had similar experiences to Frances Mayes. I ordered all the books I could find and finally started reading again. I don’t know when I stopped reading. I think it was the period when i had two miscarriages and then became pregnant with my youngest. I couldn’t focus.

I’ve made several attempts to start reading again and I’m happy that I seem to be on the right track. I just finished my first book for 2023: Attachments By: Rainbow Rowell. I enjoyed it. It’s funny with a cute romance story without it being a romance story you know? I’ve set a goal for myself to read 12 books throughout 2023. I finished two more books while I was sick; “Holding Up the Universe” by; Jennifer Niven & “Wonder” By R.J. Palacio. I think I’m off to a good start.

My kids all read but at different levels. My oldest is the biggest reader of them all. I started reading to him at a very young age. I had so many children’s classics and would read to him before he went to bed. I continued to read to my kids as they grew older, on and off depending on what was going on in our lives. The book that got my oldest hooked on reading was Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I had started reading it to them before bed time and he didn’t have the patience to wait for me to read it them so he read it himself, he read almost all of Roald Dahl’s books and that was the beginning. I confess that we read in English and despite my efforts to get my kids (and myself) to read in Arabic I haven’t been successful. I guess for me, English sort of was my first language and I find it easier to read and I guess I’m, just used to it. I will post a list of my favorite children’s and adult books. I will post the new books I’ve read on Instagram and Pinterest as I finish them.

I also added a page of My Favorite Things if you are interested.

Reading is part of the balance I’m working on for this year.

When Mom is Sick

My little resting corner.

The last two weeks of January, I was sick. Thankfully I’m rarely sick. When I do get sick my body is pretty good at fighting whatever it is off and I’m never bed ridden. Except, this time it was completely different. It did start as a cough I usually get this time of year. I went to my pulmonary doctor as usual. He prescribed the same medications I usually take. But this time I didn’t get better. I started getting worse. I know I went to the doctor later than I should have, I postponed it because I had more important things to do. (I know I shouldn’t have put everything first as usual…) I went to see the doctor on Tuesday and started my medications. Then, I couldn’t sleep for two nights in row. I felt so exhausted and miserable Thursday morning,  so I took myself to the ER where they gave me Ventolin and more medication. The doctor didn’t think it was COVID but I asked to be tested just in case. It was negative thankfully. I continued to feel worse until Saturday, went back to see my doctor Saturday morning. He doubled the dose of two medications and gave me one more medication. I slowly started to feel better. I slowly started to actually get some sleep. I spent half of one week and the beginning of the other on the sofa (I could not lay down without coughing continuously.) For the first time in a long time, I was bed ridden, so to speak. I didn’t do anything except sit. I couldn’t do anything. I had no energy. I read a lot. I couldn’t stand bright lights or loud noises so reading was my biggest comfort. Especially in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep. I managed to finish two books and I’m on my third! I haven’t read that much in a long time! (We have to find the silver lining)

You might think how did everyone survive? It does seem like I do everything so how did they manage when I was temporarily out of service? Well, a lot of things got over looked. Your priorities need to change when you’re sick. My husband was so much help even though he works long hours. I’m lucky I live with my mother in law so I didn’t need to worry about cooking lunch. My brother in law did afternoon school pick-ups the past week so I didn’t have to. My kids are old enough to understand that mom is sick. Even my four-year-old seemed to understand. Though a little bewildered: how are you sick mama? Is it your voice? Does your mouth hurt? He asked all wide eyed and innocent.

Laundry did pile up. Things got cluttered. The kids may have had more take away then normal for dinner. We managed. I’m lucky I have supportive family. I also have a full-time cleaner which is the biggest blessing! Although cleaners only clean and the cooking, decluttering, organizing and laundry are my job.

I slowly healed. Sleeping better. Slowly getting things done around the house. (mainly laundry.) I didn’t go to the gym in 10 days. I had to put training for the marathon on hold until i felt better.

As much as I hate it, being sick has made me really slow down. I have so much on my to do list that is waiting for me. I guess it made me realize that its ok. Its ok to slow down, the house work and decluttering can wait. The gym can wait. All the errands can wait. My kids managed with me being there, but not doing much. The world didn’t end because mom was sick. Sometimes you have no choice but to put yourself first and let everyone take care of you.

Riyadh Marathon

Riyadh Marathon 2023 Logo

The first annual International Riyadh Marathon was held in March 2022. Over 10,000 people participated from all over the world. It had four different races. A full marathon (42k), a half marathon (21k), a 10K and a 4k for children and families. It was a successful event. Lots of family friendly activities and fun. Unfortunately, I didn’t hear about the marathon until after it took place. I was very busy with a major renovation at home so I probably wouldn’t have been able to participate anyway. I did however decide that I was definitely participating next year. Fast forward to months of dizziness for unknow reasons and I wasn’t sure that was going to be possible. I focused on getting better before I made any decisions about the marathon. I figured I had time. Anything was possible.

On the 20th of December, I decided I was fit enough to participate. I registered and started focusing my cardio on walking/running. I started writing my times walking on the treadmill or outside. I slowly started increasing my pace. It felt great! I also did resistance exercises three times a week with my personal trainer.

I found a group of women that walked and exercised together. (RWG) I joined them for the first time on Jan 12th. I may have arrived late & at the wrong location, but I managed 2.6k and walked half way with them. They are such a fun, multinational, diverse group of women! I’ve met with them two more times since and done the complete walk. Its about 4.5 k. we get together at a café afterwards for coffee and/or breakfast. It’s nice!

I do have minor issues with my knees and went to see my orthopedic doctor for my now annual knee injections. He suggested I run less and focus on resistance training to gain strength because I was complaining of shin pain. I’m ok with that.

I did have to put training on hold for ten days while I was sick with a horrible cough. (seasonal asthma cough, I’ve been getting for three years around this time but, this year was the worse.) I started feeling better Tuesday and went for a walk with the RWG group on Thursday morning. My pace may have been slow and I’m grateful to the two lovely ladies who stayed back and walked with me. It was a beautiful morning and I enjoyed the walk. I’m planning on training gently this week and giving myself a couple of days of rest before the marathon. I’m confident I’m fit enough to complete 10k. I don’t need to be the fastest I just need to make it to the finish line. I’m grateful I found the RWG group. When I signed up for the marathon I honestly thought I’d be doing it on my own. I’m grateful we will be doing it together.

As I look back at the past year leading to the marathon, I realize how motivating it was for me to get through all my health issues to be able to participate. I’m looking forward to next Saturday. I can’t wait to cross the finish line!

Follow me on Instagram to see my preparations for the marathon this week and complete my first 10k inshallah!

Long Weekends

Image by Engin Akyurt from Pixabay

Am I the only one who imagines long weekends in the middle of the school year, as a chance to rest and relax? Sleep in a bit, sit and enjoy a cup of coffee and catch up on that book you were reading? No morning rush before school, no school pickups in the afternoon getting stuck in traffic, no homework, dinner, early bedtimes. (well early-ish bedtimes because we need our quiet evenings, right?)

Well, that is never my reality. Long weekends mean; each child asking for a specific activity. Each unique, in location and companions. Usually including friends at noisy and crowded places. My youngest will wake up early no matter when he sleeps, always with his innocent smile and “the sun is here!” My older children want to go to bed later because it’s a long weekend! So, between trying to put them to bed at reasonable hour and waking up with my youngest. Coordinating activities with friends’ moms, trying to fulfill each child’s request in hopes of giving them a boost after midterms, for the rest of the semester. I try to fit in my time at the gym, that’s the one thing I give myself. In the end, I’m left tired and drained after this long weekend. No reading done, no resting and relaxing.

Two weekends ago, we had a four-day weekend. In between spending time with their brothers by milk. I managed some activities with all my boys. My daughter wasn’t able to plan anything with friends but was happy with a couple of hours of silence while her siblings were out with me.

I took my oldest to the mall by himself, something we’ve never done before. Probably because he hates shopping. I got him a new helmet for his bicycle and some other accessories he wanted. Then, we sat down at a café and had something to drink and eat and a nice chat. The next day I took my three youngest to Chuckie Cheese (my least favorite place in the world) to meet with my 3rd son’s friends, then my 4th son’s friends. That meant three hours of a loud crowded arcade with kids running around everywhere and Chucky cheese chanting with a line of kids following him like the pied piper. Throw in some greasy pizza and bad coffee. What’s not to love?

I confess it was nice to let my kids see their friends outside of school. Especially since they moved to a different school and don’t see them as much at school. (same building different curriculum/class) It was nice to see some moms I knew and meet some new moms. I’m not sure that counts as adult time when half the time we’re trying to locate our kids, and the other half were talking about them and school. I went home with three content children, which definitely made it worth the headache!

I’m glad I was able to give my kids the time they needed. I managed to go to the gym three days out of four. I went out with my husband on our weekly coffee drive. It may not have been the weekend of resting and relaxing I dreamed of, but it was nice. I know they will all grow up and be less dependent on me and I’ll get plenty of quiet weekends. Let me enjoy the busy ones while I can.